Fight for Yours
by cruiz107
Summary: Bella and Jasper have a history together that the Cullens could never fully fathom. Can the Cullens accept without understanding the complex relationship between the unmated vampires?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey. This is a repost of a story that I pulled awhile ago so if it looks familiar that's why. There will be no beta (or attempt to be beta'd) and no schedule for this story. It's purely for fun and my need for some vampire in my life. I don't know where this story is going or how many chapters it is going to be. It will eventually be canon couples. Hope you enjoy (though I expect those hateful reviews, too)**

**BPOV**

"I can't believe that we're actually doing this. Do you even think we can?" I asked Jasper, my best friend, confidant, and lover as we stood on the ledge of sleazy motel in New York City. We watched the people below dodge each other as the raced to their destination. New Yorkers were always in a hurry for no particular reason. If they only knew that I could end their life with a swift bite that could be mistaken for a kiss.

"I think we can. It'll be hard, but we've been in worse situations and came out on top. If it gets too hard for one of us, the other will be there to pull us out before things get out of hand," Jasper reassured me, running his thumbs down my cheeks.

I loved Jasper. His confidence in us – our abilities - was one of the reasons he was my everything. Every day since our reunion, he never let me forgot how strong I was – with or without him. He found new ways to apologize for mistakes that I had forgiven him for the moment he made them.

"We know it's time to move on. Forks can be another destination to check off our bucket list," he joked. "And a valid reason to change our appearance," he continued, while twirling my bright orange hair around his finger, using his smile on me – the one that always made everything okay.

"And what persona are you gonna take on this time?" I asked.

"Maybe I'll be a cowboy again. I haven't played that role since we left Texas and that was, what, seventeen years ago? That was fun. What about you?"

" I guess I'll do something plain like brown or blonde. Nothing fancy." I shrugged. I loved my hair but I couldn't keep it and hope to not stand out. We had done a little research on our soon to be home and Forks wasn't exactly the up and coming metropolis that welcomed those that looked different. We needed to blend and it was already going to be difficult with the physical attributes of vampires.

I loved New York because of the eccentricity that was accepted by the majority. When I walked down the street with my bright hair and mismatched clothes, no one looked twice. If I wanted to dress like a hippie, I was actually encouraged. I would miss the open-mindedness of the people we shared this city with. I was always a free spirit –which got me into trouble in my human days- and I wasn't looking forward to taming my ways for a city like Forks. However, I knew it was something we had to do if we didn't want to be found out.

Because of a bad decision I had made a few weeks ago, we had to leave. In my defense, the cop I fed on had it coming. He was supposed to serve and protect his community, not his drug habit. It wasn't my fault we shared a love for the same drug. His death, which then led to the exposure of his sordid activities, caused frenzy in the city. A lot of media exposure. While it was unlikely something like this would reach Italy, it wasn't a chance we wanted to take.

While figuring out where our next destination would be, Jasper remembered something his friend, Garret, had told him years ago. Supposedly, there was a coven residing in a small town in Washington living amongst humans. The area was supposed to have near constant cloud coverage making it a perfect place to easily keep our existence a secret. When I asked about the coven and sharing the territory Jasper had said that the coven eventually moved to Alaska. With the knowledge that coven wouldn't be around, I felt better about the move.

I grabbed Jasper's hand and led him to the other side of the hotel roof - the dark alley below us.

"You ready to dine here for the last time?" Jasper asked.

"If you're with me, I'll always be ready," I replied, cheesy as hell. "I love you." I stood on my tip toes and he bent down to meet me half way for a quick kiss. I was emotional about leaving the city that – more than it was actually aware of – had been so good to us.

He wrapped his long, lithe arms around me as we both jumped from the ledge to the dirty, dank alley. We landed softly on the heels of our feet as we did so many times before.

When we unwrapped ourselves from each other, we heard the angry exchange, behind the dumpster, of a man and woman – our next meal.

"I love you, Bella, but I'm so glad that this is will be the last time we do this."

Another reason why I loved Jasper – he sacrificed clean, pure blood in order to come with me to satiate my craving for the drug laced variety. Although it smelled and tasted off, I preferred blood that was laced with something like coke or marijuana. After I drained a drug user of their blood, I could always feel the affect of their drug of choice flowing through me. The feeling never lasted long, the venom was quick to burn the drug and its ingredients, but the quick high always felt great. It was quite the human experience.

Behind the dumpster was a prostitute, who I saw sniff two lines of coke off the dumpster lid seconds before we jumped from the roof. With her was her john, who only sniffed one line. That was actually the cause of their current argument – apparently she didn't like to share much.

Jasper and I walked around the massive dumper, quickly tiring of the pair's arguing. As the couple continued their verbal spat, Jasper loudly cleared his throat to get their attention.

"What the fuck do you want?" the balding man spat. We didn't answer, but continued to stare at the two sets of confused, angry eyes that stared back. When we were going to drain those that had participated in drug use, I always got the one who was more heavily induced. He never argued, though, since he preferred those who were clean.

I was hungry and playing with my food this time wasn't appealing. I let go of Jasper's hand and began walking toward the woman who was standing defiantly behind the man. She began to back up the closer I got. As I was about to pass the man, he grabbed my hand, stilling me. He wasn't strong by any means. In fact, I could have ripped his whole arm off by simply shrugging him off of me. What stopped me was the audacity this man had to put his hand on me. It never ceased to amaze me that when a person was high, their self preservation seemed nonexistent. Had these people been sober, they would have already been cringing and finding the quickest exist.

Before I could even give the guy a warning glace, Jasper was at my side with his fingers wrapped around the man's neck. The guy quickly let go of my arm as Jasper lifted him off the ground, kicking his legs, trying to free himself.

"You don't touch her," Jasper growled.

The woman, who was now pressed up against a brick building, was screaming. In one quick stride, I was in front of her, blowing my sweet breath in her face, momentarily dazzling and quieting her at the same time. I wanted to watch Jasper drain this nameless man. I always loved watching him eat. There was something so erotic about the way he would bit down on someone's neck and then wrap his lips around his teeth that would sink into his victim's throat. As he drank, his Adam's apple would softly bop up and down.

The best part, however, was when he was done. I think it was more for my benefit, but he always had a trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth. He would slowly, sensually, bring his tongue out and swipe at the loose blood, letting the last of it marinate on his tongue. Watching him eat always dazzled _me_.

After he had effectively drained the man, he threw the lifeless body to the ground, behind the dumpster.

"Bella, you gonna eat that?" Jasper asked, chuckling and nodding to the forgotten woman behind me. I shook my head of the lustful thoughts, promising myself to get back to them later. I turned towards the woman who looked afraid again. She was quickly sobering. I wanted to eat and get Jasper back home as quickly as possible. I went for her jugular first, killing her quickly. I drained her fast and placed her next to Jasper's entrée. When I was done making sure both Jasper and I were presentable, we grasped hands again and walked towards the busy night streets, blending in with the rest of the faceless people that prowled these streets nightly. Usually, we would have been more careful disposing of the bodies, but since it was our last night in New York, caution wasn't a priority.

When we reached our apartment in the village, we were quick to rid the clothes that stood in our way. Aside from eating, having sex with Jasper was my favorite past time. We dedicated an exceeding amount of time to have sex, forgetting about everything and everyone else. We would have quickies during the day if we just couldn't wait until night. Whether it was all night or just a quick fuck, we both had to be completely naked. Although vampirism did miraculous things to one's looks, I could tell that Jasper's body was beautiful before he was turned. It would have been a sin against God if it wasn't.

Deciding that the bed was just too far, even with vampire speed, Jasper picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. No foreplay was needed; Jasper already knew this. My arms and legs were a vice grip around his neck and torso. Freeing one hand, I grasped his hard cock and stroked it up and down, loving the smoothness of it. The purr that emanated from his chest served to turn me on even more, allowing the venom down below to flow more freely.

Needing him inside me desperately, I took his cock and easily guided it inside of me. He felt so good, like the sweetest blood quenching the most painful burn in my throat. With his hands on either of my hips, he helped guide our movements while I was still pressed against the wall. I felt the wall begin to crumble behind me with the sheer force of our hard bodies grinding together.

I twined my fingers into his blond hair, loving how the strands felt between fingers. The harder he pushed his body into mine, the harder I pulled on his hair. His head began to lull back, putting his pale neck on full display. I bit him softly, quickly licking and sealing up the small damage to make sure no mark would be left. I started sucking on the same spot. If he were still human it would have been an impressive hickey.

Because I was solely focused on the glorious feeling of him inside me and sucking on his neck, I hadn't noticed that he had walked us over to the couch. He dropped me gently and quickly flipped me over, entering me from behind. Although I loved watching and feeling his body when he had sex, this was my favorite position; allowing for a deeper, fuller feeling. It was primal and animalistic and felt completely surreal.

"Jasper…harder," I panted.

"I love looking at you when I fuck you like this. Do you like when I fuck you from behind, like an animal?" Jasper asked between thrusts.

"Fuck! I love it…I love it. Harder, Jasper." He listened to my request and started pounding into me harder and faster.

Jasper was trembling behind me. He wanted to come but was trying to hold back. He was selfless all around.

"Just do it, Jasper. I want to feel it dripping down my leg."

That did it. I heard what sounded like a mixture between a purr and a growl. He held on to me tighter and began harder, shorter thrust. After ten thrusts, he stilled himself, letting his venom fill me. He held me after; always a bittersweet moment and with Jasper being an empathy, it always made it better or worse. He rubbed his thumbs up and down the tear tracks that ran parallel under both eyes.

I grabbed his hand, kissing his thumb. "Don't," I demanded. He was projecting his guilt again and by now he should have known that it only served to double the guilt that I carried with me every day.

**EPOV**

"I can't believe we have to do this again," I complained. It was the start of another school year where I would have to play a junior. I've been a junior eight times already, and it never got any easier or pleasurable. High school was never fun. College was more bearable since it allowed more freedom in the course work and in the short time between high school and college the students matured greatly. Big campuses were also a plus.

"You complain every year knowing that it's not going to help. Just stop, already," Alice retorted.

"Well, it wouldn't be so bad if the girls weren't as hormonal as the boys. Would you like to know the position Newton was thinking about you in?" I argued back. Alice sighed, knowing that I had a valid point and not wanting to talk about it any further.

We were on our way to Forks High. I hated it, but at least Alice was playing the same age. She and I were close. I think Carlisle hoped that we would be each other's mate, but I never saw Alice as anything more than a sister.

"Emmett and Rose should be coming soon," I said just for the sake of saying something. Emmett and Rosalie were seniors and would be off to college next year. Last they spoke about it, they would be heading toward the jungles of Brazil.

We pulled into the parking lot of the school and found the same spot that I designated for myself our first year here. I exited the car and noticed that Alice had not followed. I walked around the passenger side and tapped at her window. She was having a vision.

"Well that's… new?" I said, after reading her mind. Unlike every other time, her vision literally blurry

"Yeah, what the hell do you think that was about?" Alice asked, confusion and irritation coloring her face. "It was like I was…being blocked?" She scratched her head unnecessarily. "I don't get it. That never happened before."

There was very little to her vision. I could tell it was in regards to two people; presumably the two new students that were rumored to be starting his year. One was a female and the other a male. Maybe brother and sister. That was it. There was nothing to be determined from her vision.

"What the hell are we going do?" Alice asked, quite confused.

"I don't know, you tell me. You're the one who sees the future," I replied sarcastically.

"Gonna do about what?" Emmett asked, coming from behind me.

"Alice can't see the future anymore," I explained, pissing Alice off.

"Yes, I can," she hissed. "I'm just having…technical difficulties right now."

"Maybe your antennas need retuning." Emmett went to muss her hair.

"Don't you dare," Alice seethed before he could make contact.

Emmett was about to reply with witty remark, but was interrupted by the obnoxiously loud rumble of a car entering the school parking lot.

It seemed that everyone on campus became intrigued by the vehicle enough to cease all conversation and watched as it parked and shut off. The passengers gracefully stepped out and met at the hood of the car.

Simultaneously, we all hissed. Their sunglasses could not hide their identity. Their scents wafted our way.

"Oh, damn." Emmett understood the severity of the situation.

"Do you think that's why your vision was blurry?" Rose asked Alice.

"It seems like the only rational explanation, but still. How…" Alice trailed off, unable to shake the confusion.

"You think they know that we live here?" Emmett asked.

"Probably not," I answered. "Why would they choose to share territory with others? Unless they're nomads and used to sharing living quarters."

"Yes, but…" Alice stopped suddenly. She was having another vision.

"Shit," I muttered as I saw the vision play out in her head.

"What?" Emmett and Rose asked at the same time.

"They drink human blood," I answered.

"Most vampires do." Rosalie commented as if I was the stupidest vampire on earth.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, but those vampires don't live here in Forks, genius." She took a step forward, but as held back by a chuckling Emmett.

"Anyway," Alice interrupted loudly, "they're going to feed tonight. We can't let that happen."

"I thought you couldn't see their future?" Emmett asked.

"I didn't see _their_ future," Alice answered sadly. "I saw the victims' future."

"I haven't actually seen _their_ future. I've seen the future of others that are involved with them."

"How did you not know about this sooner?" I hissed at Alice, unsure of where or how to direct my anger and confusion.

"Really, Edward? How the hell was I supposed to know to look out for vampires joining the student body. And I guess you've forgotten that I was also told to keep an eye out on James and his coven._ And _I guess that your feeble mind already forgot that I _can't_ see their future. Give me a break," she replied angrily.

"You're right," I sighed. "Let's just go, we're gonna have to figure something out."

As we began walking in the same direction as the previous vampires had, I tried catching their thoughts among the hundreds of others that plagued me every day. I stopped short.

" I can't hear either of them."


	2. Chapter 2

**BPOV**

"You saw them, right?" I asked Jasper as we walked into the school.

"Yeah, I did, but I smelled them before I saw them."

"So did I. They had to be the ones that James guy was talking about."

While wasting time in Seattle, we crossed paths with another coven. When we told them where we were headed, they warned us about a large coven where two of the members had special abilities. As James continued to speak, it was glaringly obvious that he had a beef with the coven. Green has not a good color for him. However, I sightly assured Jasper that I would keep my shield up as soon as we reached Forks. During our conversation, I never revealed that both Jasper and I had our own abilities. Our gifts were subtle and not very identifiable, which worked in our favor.

Jasper and I parted on fairly good terms with James, his mate Victoria, and Laurent. They seemed friendly enough, but they had something about them that could not be trusted. As soon as we parted with their company, we fed and continued the small distance to Forks.

"Do you think those are the Cullens? I mean, they were supposed to have left, right?"

"I don't know, but who else could they be? What are the odds that _another_ coven lives amongst humans?"

"What do you think we should do? Introduce ourselves?" I asked, more nervous about the other vampires than not killing one of these students.

"We'll eventually have to, I guess. Size 'em up. Is it…?" He made a zipping sound and used his thump to point up. I arched my eyebrow at him, making him chuckle. I always kept my shield up around us.

I surveyed our new surroundings. We were being stared at. I also noticed that no one else around us was wearing sunglasses. We knew we looked foolish with them on, but red eyes didn't exactly lend to normalcy.

I sniffed the air as soon as we entered the small building, which was both a mistake and blessing at the same time. The air was thick with human blood, some sweeter smelling than others, causing venom to practically seep out between my teeth. However, mixed in with the blood were multiple vampire scents. I began tensing the further we walked into the building. Jasper noticed immediately and tightened his hold on my hand when we reached the entrance to the main office. We stepped to the side to let others through.

"How you holding up? Feel like ripping anyone's throat out yet?" Jasper joked in vampire volume.

"I'm good, but I keep feeling tingles. I think one of those vampires is trying to penetrate my shield," I answered back. "Do you think they know about it?"

"Fuck," Jasper hissed. "I can't pinpoint any of their emotions; there's too many right now." He ran his fingers through his hair. He was elevating his own stress. "How about we get through this day. If it proves to be too hard then we'll move on? We'll find another town."I agreed easily.

Jasper and I simultaneously snapped our heads to the side, knowing that _they_ were near. We saw four pairs of scrutinizing, strangely-colored eyes staring back at us and the tingles were getting stronger. They were beginning to feel more like jabs.

"We're gonna be okay," Jasper said, knowing that they could hear him clearly. He bent down and gave my forehead a kiss, never taking his eyes off of them.

He tugged on my hand and pulled me into the office. It was a quick wait before spoke to the receptionist. I let Jasper do the talking.

"Hello, ma'am. Jasper Whitlock and Isabella Swan," he said in his southern drawl that he had been practicing since our journey from New York. _He_ thought it would make him more charming if his accent was thicker. _I_ thought he was an idiot. He could dazzle a fucking turtle without trying.

"I believe you talked to my aunt. We didn't received our schedules because we registered late," he continued. I snickered at the secretary as she opening drooled over Jasper.

Without taking her eyes off of him, Mrs. Cope, the secretary, searched her desk and whipped out our schedules. She handed them to Jasper, muttering incoherently.

We said our thanks and as we were about to walk out the door, she finally got her wits about her and told as that sunglasses weren't allowed to be worn in class. Jasper turned to her, smiled, and continued out the door. We were about to collide with four familiar strangers. Jasper quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him.

"You heard her," the short female said. "You need to take off your sunglasses," she snidely said.

I looked to Jasper, silently asking him what he thought of the situation. He shrugged and made to take off his glasses. I followed suit. The tall, brawny one shook his head upon seeing our eyes. Again, I felt strong tingles.

"One of you is trying to hurt us. It won't work," I angrily said. The tingles were strong, a clear indicator that they were trying to break through. However, another different sensation racked my body. I doubt it was Jasper's doing. It was something completely new, yet not completely uncomfortable. Just…strange.

"C'mon, Bella, let's go." Jasper grabbed my hand again and guided us to the throngs of classrooms and students.

"Should we be worried?" I asked, not sure what to make of the quick exchange.

"Not yet. If one of them tries anything, then. Let's just go to class. I managed to get us some classes together. We have history first."

We continued holding hands as we made our way toward our designated classroom. More than half of the room was already occupied by the curious students that unabashedly stared. Fortunately, we found two empty seats in the back. As we passed the students in the rows, they turned their whole body to gawk. There was one blue eyed boy, in particular, that kept his eyes trained on me after everyone else eventually looked away.

"Can we help you?" I asked him, growing annoyed and hungry as he continued staring. There was a visibly thick vain on his neck that disappeared under his sweater.

He opened his mouth, as to talk, but nothing came out. I quirked an eyebrow, growing impatient when all he did was stutter unintelligibly.

"Well?" Jasper asked this time, exasperated with the boy.

"Uhh…Mike," he finally stammered, pointing to himself. "Are you two together?" he asked, pointing between Jasper and I.

I looked to Jasper, leaned toward him, and dug my fingers into his hair. Pulling him to meet me half way, I quickly and hungrily attached my mouth to his. Jasper's breath was sweet, but it always was. He kissed me back just as passionately, both of us moaning into the other's mouth. We broke apart when he heard a whimper coming from the front of the class. I looked to the front to see the short haired female vampire staring back. She looked sad, but I couldn't have cared less as to what her problem was. My confidence was higher since she was alone. I turned back to Mike.

"No, we're not together. We're just best friends," I informed him. I heard Jasper laughing beside me.

The short haired vampire took a seat in the middle of the classroom.

"We need to talk," she said in a volume to low for the humans to hear. I turned to Jasper, again wanting to know that he thought.

"What are you getting from her," I mouthed to him, not wanting to alert the girl to Jasper's gift.

Instead of mouthing back or speaking, he responded in a note.

_It's weird because she's emanating so many emotions just by herself. I'm getting anger, curiosity, but mostly sadness. I think we should meet with them if we're going to give Forks a valid shot._

I quickly read the note, nodding in agreement. I titled my head toward the girl, indicating that he should answer her.

"When do you want to meet?" he asked her.

"During lunch," she replied in a dull monotone.

Nothing was said after that, however, I tightened my shield around us. I wasn't going to take any chances that this little girl could have some harmful ability that she wanted to use against us. I spent the rest of the class thinking about feeding off of a beautifully thick girl in the front raw…and Jasper.

**EPOV**

I was feeling…weird. It was an unfamiliar sensation that had to have come from one of the new vampires. It wasn't painful, just odd.

"What do you think she meant by us trying to hurt them?" Emmett asked after they stormed off.

"Hell if I know. They probably assume we're brutes like they are," I replied, having no clue as to what she meant.

Before we all departed for our first class, Alice had that distant look in her eyes – she was having a vision. However, she quickly blocked her thoughts from me and wore a forlorn look. We had to go in different directions for our first class, but before we departed I pulled her aside.

"What did you see?" I asked her, cutting straight to the point. "Was it them? I thought you couldn't see them?" I saw firing off questions before I had to get to class.

She shook her head before answering. "Nothing really. We're going to be meeting with them during lunch; just letting you know. And I can't see them directly, but around them. It's the only way."

"And that's it?" I asked, curious as to why she looked so sad.

She sighed, debating whether she should tell me or not, but we both knew that she was.

"The male vampire? He's my mate. I can feel it. He's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen, and that's saying a lot, but it's more than that. I _feel_ it, Edward. Carlisle told me about it once."

"I'm sorry, Alice. Maybe something will change that," I offered for reassurance. However, the two together bothered me more than I let on. I understood the feeling Alice was talking about. It was irrational for the both of us. Alice and I were both intelligent vampires, yet we were both thinking stupidly.

"I don't know. I'm just not going to think about it right now. It's more important that we find out what their intentions are while they're here."

We ceased our conversation when we heard the bell ring. I felt bad for Alice, but there was no way that I could help her when I felt like I was in the same boat - the same sinking boat.

I spent the whole morning trying to read either of their minds, but getting nowhere. Until I was sure there was something to worry about, I didn't want to let on to the others that I was having my own technical difficulties with these two new vampires.

I was anxious when lunch finally rolled around, not particularly ready for this meeting. My family and I met up in the cafeteria where we saw that the vampires, Bella and Jasper we had learned, were already seated with the banes of my existence. They occupied the same table as Jessica, Lauren, Mike, and some other students that proved to be more tolerable. I was actually surprised that they were sitting so close to the students without pouncing and drinking one of them. Because Alice said that she hadn't seen them drinking anyone of the student body, we didn't see the urgency of pulling them away.

We sat at our usual table and listened to the conversation going on between the two vampires and the unsuspecting prey.

"Your eye color is crazy. Are they contacts?" Jessica asked, looking between the pair. She looked to please, but scared shitless at the same time.

"No, not contacts, they're real. You know how you can go get laser eye surgery to fix your eye sight? Well, you can do the same thing, but with eye color; we had them changed when we were in New York," Bella explained to them, completely serious.

"Can you really do that?" Jasper asked at vampire volume while trying to contain his laughter.

"No clue, but it sounded legit," she replied, shrugging.

Based on the looks of awe that everyone wore, it was easy to tell that they all completely believed her.

"Why are you so pale?" Angela asked. "Like the Cullens."

All of us leaned closer toward their table as if we couldn't hear perfectly already. We were curious as to how they answered, seeing as we never did.

"Because we're vampires," Jasper deadpanned. There was an audible gasp around our table, surprised at their truthful answer.

"Re-really?" Mike stuttered, shocked. Jasper and Bella laughed loudly yet beautifully. It would have been like music to human ears.

"No, silly," Bella chided playfully. "How could we be out in the daylight if we were vampires? We would have burned already. Everyone knows that vampires sleep during the day."

Everyone at the table let out a laugh, realizing that absurdity of Bella's answer. The four of us looked at each other, relieved that the vampire defense wasn't taken seriously. We continued to listen to their conversation, but nothing really important was said. "I think we should call them over and get this over with," I suggested. Because everyone agreed, and somehow convinced me to go retrieve them, I did.

"Ladies," I said in greeting when I reached their table. "My family and I need a word with Jasper and Bella here, so if you'll excuse us." I flashed my infallible smile as the females nodded dumbly and the males scowled.

"See ya later," Bella said, sounding bored.

When we reached the table, Jasper and Bella sat together, presenting a united front. There was a resounding hiss when the pair sat down.

"You…you have tracks," I muttered pathetically. How has we all missed them before? I wanted to weep for this vampire.

I heard of tear tracks, but had never seen a vampire with one, let alone under both eyes. It was exceptionally rare. Tear trails were caused by venom tears, but because crying venom was unbelievably painful – comparable to burning - vampires withheld tears as best they could. However, if tears had given way, a vampire's body was quick to heal the damage done by the venom. Bella had tracks that had not healed which could only mean that even her vampire body couldn't keep up with the healing process. How much had she cried?

Jasper hissed and bared his teeth to the rest of the table.

"Before we start this little pow wow," Bella began, choosing to ignore the blatant stares from the table. She clearly wasn't going to address our curiosity. "We didn't know that another coven was attending this school. We're not trying to take over your territory and we'll gladly move on if cohabitation proves to be impossible."

Inexplicably, I didn't want them to leave Forks, even though I had no idea how we would be able to reside in this small town together with such contrasting diets.

"What are your intentions while you attend this school?" I asked, trying to sound authoritative like Carlisle.

"Uh…to learn?" Bella asked, confused by my question. Emmett snickered beside me and I shot him a sideways glance to shut him up. He quickly sobered.

"What my brother meant was how long do you two plan on being here and if you think you'll be able to resist from feeding off the town's people?" Rosalie asked.

Jasper and Bella looked towards each other, having a silent conversation. My mind reading skill would have been a great help if it actually worked with these two. Bella's head quickly snapped toward us.

"Who's doing that?" she snapped. We looked at her confused.

"We heard about your coven; two of you are manipulators. I'm telling you right now, it won't work on us, so stop trying." She was pissed.

"Manipulators? What the hell are you talking about?" Rosalie asked with just as much attitude.

"We ran into a small coven on the way here; they warned us about the Cullen coven," Bella explained.

I rolled my eyes, but inside I was seething. "What coven was this?" I asked.

"The coven led by a nomad named James. He told us that one of you manipulated the mind, their decisions, while another can manipulate the future," Jasper answered while holding onto Bella's hand. And for some reason, I wanted to pry his hand off of hers by ripping off his fingers and burning them one by one.

Emmett laughed loudly, probably at the absurdity of it all.

"I can guarantee both of you that neither are the case," I explained. "Both my sister and I, Alice, have special abilities, but manipulation is not one of them."

"And which one of you is Alice?" Jasper asked, shifting his eyes between Alice and Rosalie. I nodded in Alice's direction and a small smile tugged on his lips, pissing me off even further.

"Are you two mated?" I asked, not hiding the distain in my voice. He had some nerve checking out Alice when his mate was right next to him.

"I love Jasper," Bella said, looking lovingly at Jasper as he returned the gaze. "But, I'm not in love with him; we're not mated."

"But you have sex," Alice stated, not asking.

"Yes, we do, and how did you know that?" Bella asked, narrowing her eyes at Alice.

"Because I saw-," she cut herself off. I knew what she saw – Jasper breaking a headboard while they were in bed together. How had that vision come through?

I saw…fucking red. Although I guess she was his girl, for all intent and purposes, seeing him touch Bella like that made me want to tear off his dick, then burn him where he stood.

"Dude, what is your problem?" Japer asked, looking at me like I was crazy. "I can feel-."

Bella looked to Jasper incredulously while she placed her hand over his mouth, effectively shutting him up.

Rosalie kicked me under the table, trying to get my attention. I looked toward her and read what she didn't want to say out loud.

_We have to right them before they start trouble._

I was trying to clam my nerves, but it was a futile attempt since I could see Jasper and Bella holding hands on the table again.The oddest thing happened then – one second I felt white hot from anger and then the next, Jasper looked at me and I felt…fine, calm even. To make sure it was a fleeting feeling, I stayed quiet a few more second before I began talking.

"Look, we know who James is and we also know that he's full of shit. Alice and I do have powers, but they're not powers of manipulation. Alice can see the future and I can read minds," I clarified for them.

They continued looking at me with narrowed eyes, trying to decide if I was telling the truth.

"Can you read everyone's mind?" Bella asked for clarification.

"Usually, but for some reason you two are remaining mental mutes," I said, scowling.

Again, Bella looked at Jasper, this time laughing while Jasper tried fighting a smile.

"Try reading Jasper's mind now," she instructed. Not one second later I could hear his thoughts.

_You have a wicked temper!_

I looked at both of them wide-eyed, now having been able to read at least his thoughts.

"Why can I now read his thoughts and not yours?"

"Just tell them, sweets," Jasper said. I ignored his term of endearment.

She sighed and took stock of everyone in at the table. "Jasper here is an empath, he can feel _everyone's_ emotions, like anger," she said, looking straight at me. I rolled my eyes. "Or sadness," she said, looking at Alice this time. "I'm a shield; nothing can penetrate me, or anyone else within my curtain of protection. You can't read my mind, but the reason why you couldn't read Jasper's is because he's always under my shield."

"But wouldn't Jasper have to stay by your side to be under your protection?" Emmett asked.

"No, I can expand it, kind of like a rubber band. I can also have more than one person under my shield, but there's no one else worth protecting other than Jasper." Again, for the sake of my own sanity, I ignored the affectionate comment.

" Here, let me show you. Try reading the princess's mind," she said nodding toward Rosalie. In an instant, Rosalie's thoughts were silent, along with Jasper's again. I stared at her in shock.

"I can't."

Everyone at the table remained silent, stunned at the information that we received and witnessed firsthand. I had heard of shields, but never one with the ability to extend it.

"So what's with the eyes?" Jasper asked, pointing between all of us.

"That's actually something we need to talk about, but we don't have enough time right now," Alice answered. "Can you meet with us back at our house after school?"

"All four of you?" Bella asked. If it was possible, her hackles would have risen.

"Actually, it would be us four and our mother and father, Carlisle and Esme," I clarified.

"Your mother and father are alive?" Bella asked, sounding oddly excited which confused me.

"Not our real mother and father, but they do play the role. They're our parents in the ways we need them to be," Emmett piped in.

"I don't think-," Bella began before Jasper cut her off.

"We'll meet with your coven, but I'm warning you, I have extensive fighting experience and if this turns out to be some kind of ambush neither of us have any qualms about killing any of you," he stated in a threatening voice. He was to be taken seriously – and I did just that.

"It's not an ambush. I can guarantee you that," Alice reassured him.

Before anything else could be said the bell rang. Jasper and Bella gathered their things and made to leave but didn't get far before Alice called for their attention.

"Hey Jasper, don't leave town. I think you should know that you're my mate," Alice said very confidently.

Bella and Jasper shared another look. They laughed nervously as Jasper wrapped his arm around Bella's waist.

"I don't think so, shorty rock," he called over his shoulder as they began walking out of the cafeteria.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Last one for the night. A little insight to Jasper and Bella.**

**BPOV**

Jasper was tense as we walked away from the lunch table. The mention on my tracks put him on edge as he was more sensitive about them than I was. He saw them as his failures and I saw them as a mark of survival. They hadn't healed completely but they had healed dramatically over time. So much so that they were no longer visible to the human eyes as they had once been.

"Why did you agree to that?" I asked Jasper, referring to meeting with the Cullen coven.

"Because you have to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, and at this point, we don't know what they are. I wasn't lying when I said I'd kill them if they tried attacking us," he replied. He squeezed my hand, trying to assuring me that things were going to be okay. I gave him my best smile, but something wasn't sitting right with me. I knew what it was, but I wouldn't voice it until I was absolutely certain.

Jasper and I had biology after lunch. Unfortunately, it was the last class of the day. My last class was gym. It was ironic how I could blow everyone out of the water, guys included, in this class, but had to scale back or risk exposing myself.

I strolled into the girls' locker room, not bothering to see if I recognized any of them. I found a deserted section and stuffed my things in an empty locker. I sat on the bench, changing into my gym uniform at human speed. The locker room became nosier as more girls trampled in, but I blocked out the chatter with thoughts of feeding after school. I was still contemplating on where to go when I heard Edward Cullen's name from the row of lockers behind me.

"It figures that when Edward finally takes notice of a girl, it's Bella. She's not even that pretty," the voice grumbled.

"You're right, she's not pretty…she's beautiful. She's with Jasper anyway, despite what she says. He's beautiful, too," the other voice said.

I chuckled at their conversation. I always thought Jasper was beautiful, too, but then again, we all were. While I would never admit this to Jasper, I found Edward to be much more beautiful. I loved his intense eyes and his amaretto-colored hair. He had this brooding thing about him. Since lunch I had thought about him way too much.

My instant attraction to him had frightened me. Not even Jasper had that effect on me. Like I told everyone, I loved Jasper, but I wasn't in love with him. However, I _knew_ that I was going to fall in love with Edward. That was a down fall about mating – it snuck up on you while you weren't looking – or so I was told. Vampires could try and fight it, but eventually they would always succumb. Peter and Charlotte had warned Jasper and me about it. They told us that if we were lucky, we would one day experience what it felt like to be mated, but we had to make sure that we fought for what was ours.

However, I also wasn't stupid. I may have been young, by vampire standards, having been turned in the 1920s, but I knew that the chances of being with Edward were slim. He chose to be part of a large coven, something Jasper and I wanted no part of. Besides, I didn't even _want_ a mate. I would fight the mating urge. My life depended on it.

The slamming of a locker dragged me from my thoughts. The two girls who I had heard talking just moments before passed me. One of them was that annoying chick, Jessica, and I believe the other was Angela. Angela was nice, but very unassuming… and it's always the quiet ones.

I followed the rest of the girls out of the locker room and into the gym. I shouldn't have been surprised when I saw Edward sitting on the bleachers, completely isolated from anyone else. I remembered Jasper's words from earlier about keeping my enemies closer and made my way over to him. The closer I got, the more that odd sensation threatened to erupt in my chest.

"Still trying to read my mind?" I asked as I gracefully took the seat next to him.

"And what makes you think that?" he replied, with much more of an attitude than I was expecting.

"Just a hunch," I replied, quite proud that I was able to keep calm. I wanted to strangle him and ride him at the same time.

"What's with you two and Jasper? You're not mated, but you act like you are," he asked. It didn't go unnoticed by me that he actually sounded a little disgusted by this. Good!

"He's my best friend…and that's all you need to know." I shrugged innocently. "I feel I should reiterate that we will kill your coven if this is a setup," I said to him, seriously, but lying at the same time. I didn't think I could bring myself to dismember and burn Edward if it came down to it. That, in itself, sent warning bells ringing.

"Good to know," he deadpanned. We remained sitting together, in an awkward silence, as we waited for the class to start. Because it was the first day, Coach Clapp decided that running laps was sufficient enough for the day.

Naturally, Edward was the fastest runner out of the males. However, I knew that I could easily outrun him, so I did. We began our own little competition of sorts, trying to outrun the other. We were able to maintain a speed that was fast, but still didn't look suspicious to the students. Toward the end of the class, it was only Edward and I running while everyone stood on the sidelines panting and watching. It wasn't until the coach blew the whistle did we stop, neither of us winded. Unfortunately, there was no winner, both of us having run the same amount of laps.

"Good running with you, we have to do it for real sometime," I said, extending my hand to show good sportsmanship. He looked at it curiously before finally engulfing my hand in his. When our hands touched it felt like a warm, comfortable fire through my long time vacant veins, right to my core. I tore my hand away from his and scowled at him. I turned to walk away.

"Do _not_ feed in Forks," he called right before I walked out the gym door.

I was fucked, I knew I was fucked. And although it remained to be seen, I highly believed that Jasper was fucked as well.

As quickly as I humanly could, I raced to the locker room, changed and went to go meet Jasper at our car- the Camaro that I love so much.

I was leaning on the hood of the car, waiting for Jasper, when I smelled her behind me. I turned to see Alice standing by the driver side.

"I hope that you're going to heed my brother's advice and not feed on anyone in Forks," she said with more bass in her voice than I appreciated. I continued looking at her, trying to read her and figure out what her problem was.

"What's your beef with me?" I asked, ignoring her comment.

"I don't have a beef with you. We just want to make sure that you and Jasper go elsewhere to feed. We keep a permanent residence here and we don't want to be exposed."

"Duly noted. Is that it, or do you also want to tell me to stay away from your mate?"

She narrowed her eyes at me and I swear that I heard her hiss. However, at that moment, Jasper appeared at my side, flinging his arm around my shoulders. The gesture was off though; not as tight of an embrace as usual

"Is there a problem here?" he asked, looking between Alice and me.

"No. Alice here just wanted to let us know not to eat anyone in Forks. We should probably just head to Port Angeles," I said, speaking directly to Jasper and ignoring Alice's stare.

"You'll find a cokehead behind Becon's Bar," Alice replied, snidely.

Jasper and I turned to her, shocked that she would know my preference. Until it clicked.

"You saw it this during lunch, didn't you?" I was annoyed even more now that I knew she found away around my shield. She used Jasper during the mere seconds he wasn't under my shield. Who was this vampire to go looking into _my_ future? "And why are you fishing for my future? Concentrate on yours," I spat.

"It doesn't work like that. I can't help what I see and I didn't see _your_ future. Do you think I wanted to see you and Jasper fucking?" she shouted. I gaped at her, livid that she was protruding in on a private moment that was none of her business.

I could hear the growling coming from my throat; I was ready to attack, exposure be damned. However, an immediate wave of calm flooded over me. I narrowed my eyes at Jasper.

"We're going now," he spoke while intertwining our fingers together. "Tell the rest of your coven that we'll be at your residence at five; we'll track your scent. However, we will not be stepping foot into your house. Your coven-." Jasper was cut off.

"Stop calling us a coven! We're a family," Alice seethed.

"Fine, tell your _family _that we will only meet with them outside," he continued, rolling his eyes at the word family. If it smells like a coven and looks like a coven, then it's a coven.

"Duly noted," Alice replied.

Jasper placed a kiss on my forehead and walked around to the passenger side, letting me drive home since he drove us to school in the morning. I side stepped Alice and got into the driver's seat while giving her my best sarcastic smile.

The drive home was quiet. We had to unwind from our first time being in high school as vampires, but we also mentally prepare ourselves for the upcoming meeting with the other vampires. Luckily, the drive was short and we reached our shared apartment in less than eight minutes.

It was just before four and we had a lot of time to kill. We would be leaving soon to go eat before we met up with the Cullen coven.

"How was your day?" I wanted to know how he fared in the classes that we didn't have together…and if he had the urge to kill anyone.

"It was okay, I guess. I have a class with Emmett; he seems like a nice enough person, but it's too soon to tell. What about you?"

I shrugged. "Same. I have last period gym with Edward. Very competitive, that one," I informed him. I left out the part where I wanted to feel what it was like to have him under me.

"How was the bloodlust?" I asked. That was what I really wanted to know.

"Well, I didn't kill anyone." He chuckled. "But really, it was harder at times than others. I guess I had the most trouble during gym with the heart bumping blood overtime. You?"

"Gym was okay, but I started racing Edward so I really hadn't noticed, which I guess is a good thing, but yeah, I had my moments."

After our short talk we decided to just go eat. Instead of taking the car, we ran the short distance to Port Angeles. I was so tempted to go behind the bar Alice had mentioned when I had spotted it, but purposefully ignored it. I wasn't going to let Alice dictate who I decided to feed on. We settled on stalking out prey from a tall tree that we found in a dense forest surrounding the small town. I wasn't really that hungry, but because I always felt stronger after I fed, I ate anyway. It was better to be safe than sorry.

Jasper and I were lucky to spot a young couple running on a trail that was right outside the main shopping streets. Like a synchronized dance, Jasper and I descended from the tree behind the jogging couple. We snapped their necks, trying to be as quick and quiet as possible. We dragged their bodies behind the tree line and drained them for all the substance they offered. I picked both their pockets, trying to find any type of identification that I could. After doing just that, I tossed a wallet and cell phone on the ground, into plain view, hoping that they would be discovered. T his would give some type of indication that these people would be missing. I didn't want to leave their bodies to atop dead leaves; we were hungry, not heartless.

"You ready?" Jasper asked as we walked back toward the woods.

"Doesn't really matter. Let's just get this over with."

We walked into the woods and ran along the highway. Once we were right outside the Forks borderline, we sniffed until we picked up familiar scents. We headed in the direction that would lead us to the four, or six, vampires. We found their home easily. It was massive, even if it was used to house six vampires. It was three floors that I could make out. However, I wasn't sure if they had a basement that I couldn't see.

Jasper and I were financially comfortable, more than just comfortable, actually. It was obvious that these vampires more doubled our net worth. Even still, I could not see Jasper or I buying such a pretentious looking house.

We continued walking up the long driveway. When we were less than fifty yards away from the porch, all six vampires emerged. We stopped where we were. They seemed to understand that we weren't going any further and began making the small trek to us. I took a cautious step back when I felt that they were a little too close for comfort, dragging Jasper with me.

"We mean you no harm," a blond vampire said. He had an authoritative tone and I assumed this was the one named Carlisle. "My name is Carlisle, head of this family. And yes, I mean family and not coven," he said, eyeing Alice. She must have told him that we continuously referred to them as a coven. "This is my wife, Esme," he said, referring to the female on his arm.

He went on. "We have no problem with you two living in Forks, but there are a few things that I must warn you about."

We nodded, allowing him to go on. "First, if you must feed on humans – though we hope you might consider another diet - under no circumstances are you to feed on anyone in Forks. Not only do we want to avoid exposure, but we also have a treaty with the local Quileute tribe. Under said treaty, if _any_ vampire feeds on anyone in Forks, be it a resident or tourist, they have to force us out by any means necessary. Please go somewhere else to eat."

"That's more than understandable. Where does your cov-, family, go to find your prey?" Jasper asked. I knew that we were going to tire of Port Angeles quickly.

"That's the other thing. We do not feed off of human blood. We consider ourselves vegetarians, in a way. We only feed off of animal blood which is the reason for our eye color."

Jasper and I looked at each other, and then the rest, incredulously. Surely, we must have heard them wrong. That or they were fucking crazy.

"Come again?" I asked, definitely needing clarification.

"We all made a life choice to refrain from drinking human blood, draining only animals. While we won't force either of you to convert, we are here if you feel that you at least want to give it a try. However, like I said, if you continue drinking human blood, then do not do it in Forks."

"Acceptable," I said. "Is that all?"

"Actually, I do think that it is beneficial for us to all get to know each other if you two are going to share our small town. My daughter said that you contain special abilities of your own?" Carlisle asked, eagerly looking between Jasper and I. They already knew we did have abilities; there was no point in denying it.

"Yes. I am an ultimate shield. Jasper here is an empath. He can feel and manipulate emotions."

"And you said that we were the manipulators," Alice said under her breath, but still clear enough for everyone to hear.

"What was that, Alice?" Esme asked.

"I informed your children that we were told that members of your family used their abilities for manipulation. We were wrong, but misguided in the first place. We apologize," I answered, but maintained an arrogant tone, not liking Alice's comment at all. I turned to Jasper to try and read what he made of all this, but his eyes remained trained on Alice.

Yup, he _was_ fucked.

"Apology accepted," Carlisle interrupted. "I've heard about such capabilities, but never met any vampire with them personally. Hopefully, if we become friends, we can have a sit down and talk about them. I find it very interesting." He was smiling and seemed genuinely nice. He was hard to distrust.

"How did you two come to meet?" Esme asked.

"Jasper's my sire." I answered simply.

"How'd _that_ happen?" Alice asked. She didn't have a condescending tone, leading me to believe that she was truly curious. I sighed and began my short tale.

"It was 1922 and I had just turned twenty. I frequented many speakeasies. My father was a lawyer and a strong supporter of Prohibition, so needless to say that he was not very happy to learn that many of my friends were into bootlegging and jazz." I laughed at the image in my head of flappers dancing in the clubs like they portrayed in textbooks and documentaries. That was me. Feathered headband and all.

"Anyway, one night I drank too much and roamed the streets with a few of my girlfriends. My father was working late that night, and I happened to pass his office. When he saw my drunken state, he became enraged. Long story short, he beat me. I don't remember much of anything after that except Jasper telling me that it was going to burn. He told me later that it was either dying or getting turned. I'm glad he decided what he did." I turned to look at Jasper. He had a sad look in his eyes. I knew that he hated to relive that memory. I think the moment I saw my angel, I found my kindred spirit. Not as my mate, but as a friend that I would risk my dead life for.

"Wow." I heard Alice whisper.

"That is truly a remarkable tale. How did you not kill her?" Carlisle asked Jasper in awe.

"There was something about her that wouldn't let me," he answered. I asked him that before and he had the same feeling that I had. We were meant to be lifelong friends.

"And what about you, my dear? How were you changed?" Esme asked Jasper.

"Nothing too interesting. I was a soldier in the Civil War, fighting against the Union. As I was riding to deliver a message, I came across a vampire…and the rest is history." I knew that he wouldn't say much more. Maria was a touchy subject that we didn't like to talk about.

I looked to him as I always did the few times we talked about Maria. It was as if it was easier to talk about her if I showed him I wasn't upset. This time was different, though. He wasn't looking at me. I followed his gaze to Alice. He was staring…hard.

"She's your mate," I said, accusatorily. He looked back at me, aghast.

"What?! No she's not." He denied.

"She is and I'll prove it."

**EPOV**

Everything happened so fast there was no way in preventing it.

From where she stood, Bella leapt in the air, landing on Alice's back. As Bella was about to sink her teeth into Alice, Jasper came charging at them, shoving Bella hard, causing her to go flying in the air and into a tree, which uprooted upon impact.

Not a split second later, I was on top of Jasper, ready to literally tear him apart.

"Stop," Bella screamed, causing everyone to look at her. "See?" she asked Jasper.

He looked distraught and I swear he was ready to cry. He pushed away from me and ran toward Bella.

"Oh Bella, I'm so fucking sorry." He was pleading for his forgiveness.

"I'm not mad, Jasper, but we need to get out of here." He quickly agreed.

"Wait, you can't go. You have to stay; he's my mate and I know that Edward is yours." Alice was pleading.

Bella and Jasper shook their heads. "We promised each other."

"Bella, please listen to me," Carlisle spoke. "If you four truly are mates, you won't be able to stay away from each other; it would become physically painful after enough time. Once you're body recognizes it's mate it's an irrevocable change."

"Pain only last for so long, right?" Jasper said. "We won't leave town since we hadn't made plans to leave so soon, but it's best we stay away. It was nice meeting you both," Jasper said to Carlisle and Esme.

"We'll see the rest of you in school, but please keep your distance. We know what you said before, and we won't go hunting in Forks. Good night," Bella added.

As they turned to walk away, it felt like my dead heart was breaking. Alice's thoughts were on the same track.

Our mates were walking away and I could feel the literal burning sting my eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**BPOV**

Jasper and I _walked _hand in hand back to our apartment. Running would have been a hell of a lot faster, but we needed this extra time. Walking, like regular humans, allowed us more time to think, even if it meant getting lost in our own heads – something that isn't that hard for a vampire.

At our slow speed, it took us a little over an hour to get back home. It was strange how "human-like" vampires can actually be. On our walk home, we passed a lot of different people, some of them smelling absolutely delectable. However, actually drinking them was merely a fleeting thought. My appetite, if that's what you could call it, was nonexistent. It seemed that Jasper was feeling the same way. I didn't need his gift to know how despondent he was feeling.

Carlisle was right in a sense – it hurt more than either of us could imagine walking away from our mates. The psychical pain hadn't manifested yet as Carlisle said it would. Hopefully, he was wrong in that aspect. Had he actually ever had to walk away from his mate? Probably not.

But it needed to be done. I also knew that pain and hurt _did_ eventually fade away. I experienced that thanks to Jasper, although even he wasn't fully aware of the pain that I went through during our time apart. I loved him enough to spare him the details.

When we were settled in our apartment, we let the silence ensue. Eventually I couldn't take it any longer.

"Are we going to school tomorrow?" I asked, needing to break the deafening silence and tension.

"Yeah." He thought for a moment. "I haven't drawn up any other papers or IDs yet, and we have no other plans and there's nothing else to do around here in the meantime. We'll stick with high school until we can come up with something else."

I naturally agreed with him. Because we had already eaten earlier in the day, and since neither one of us was up to leaving the apartment for the day, we climbed into bed and just held each other. If this was any other circumstance, I'm positive that holding each other would have resulted into much more by now. But because our worlds shifted in less than a whole day, doing anything else would have been wrong. More than wrong really; it would have been impossible. You don't have relations with someone else when you _know_ your mate is out there. We may not have verbally confirmed the existence of our other half we _knew_.

The ability to sleep would have been fantastic now, but of course we weren't granted that luxury. We stood up all night, of course, left to our own thoughts, trapped in our own heads. It was the first time we had gone so long being together but not uttering one word.

School the next day was absolute torture, even worse than the burning sensation of being transformed. I would gladly go through that all day than having to be in Edward's presence. However, after being a vampire, our second role was being an actor. We had agreed to keep up the façade that nothing was wrong, that we were fine. Jasper and I held hands in the hall, talked amongst ourselves and "friends", the whole time ignoring all of the Cullen's.

I also began working on my shielding ability. I didn't like that Alice was able to see our futures, even if it was just that one time. I tightened it as much as I could – a vice grip if it turned tangible.

I did love that Alice and Edward looked just as down as we felt. However, they had the comfort of their siblings and parents; it was only Jasper and me fending for ourselves. As it should be.

During lunch we sat on the opposite side of the lunch room, as far away as possible. During gym, I ignored Edward like that plague. They were futile attempts, though. His soul was calling to me, trapping me. I was trying to push in the opposite direction while being pulled in the other. It was so much harder when I was alone.

The following week was hectic with discussions of the pep rally, homecoming game and dance. I had never heard of any of these things, so I listened when people talked. Supposedly, the Forks High football team was playing against the Port Angles team. The pep rally was to show support for the team, but I had no idea what the purpose of the dance was. It didn't matter either way, Jasper and I weren't going.

As the days went on and the homecoming topic became even more prevalent, I heard Edward's name in passing. A lot of the girls were holding onto hope that he would ask one of them to the dance, until it was rumored that he was attending with an outside guest. I felt bad for the nameless girl that I heard this from – I wanted to kill - then drink - the messenger. I heard the growl in my chest get louder, and decided it was best that I walk away before I did something that I would come back and bite Jasper an me in the ass later.

Lunch was even worse that day as Jasper and I sat with people that I'd rather eat than talk to.

"It figures that the first time Edward actually goes to one of the dances, he's taking someone who doesn't even go to this school," Jessica whined.

"Who's he taking anyway?" Angela asked.

"I heard it was an old girlfriend that's in town. Tanya, I think," Jessica answered.

"I guess we'll just find out on Friday."

"What's Friday?" I asked. Today was Monday and I couldn't think of a reason for Edward to bring his so called girlfriend to school on Friday. Just to show her off?

"Where the hell have you been?" Lauren scoffed. I could see myself saving her blood for last, killing her slowly and painfully. "Friday is the dance."

"Are you to going?" Angela asked. I think I'd kill her first, quickly, so she wouldn't suffer or have to witness the deaths of her friends. I did kind of like her, after all.

I looked to Jasper. Did I want to go? Not really, but I was extremely curious. I think Jasper must have realized this.

"We're going to make an appearance," he answered for me. I shot him an appreciative smile.

And we did just that on Friday night. I didn't know how formal the dance was supposed to be, so I made a quick stop after school and bought the first dress that I figured would work just fine. It was a black strapless dress but had a V-neck cut. It was tight on top, belted right under my breasts, and free flowing to the knee.

Jasper, on the other hand, wore a pair of black slack and a pink button down to match the belt on my dress. Of course, he looked incredible.

When we arrived at the dance, it was already going strong, despite the glum mood everyone was in earlier. Forks had lost the game during overtime. Apparently, the loss didn't damper their party mood.

When we entered the gym where the dance was held, I could tell that it was hard for not just me, but Jasper as well. We were never in such close proximity to so many people at once and the bloodlust as overhelming. Finally managing to get a hold of our thirst, we walked deeper into the gym. I started sniffing for their scents and found them pretty quickly, however, there were two scents that were clearly vampire, but still unfamiliar to me.

Jasper and I found a fairly empty clearing on the bleachers and sat down. It was like my eyes immediately knew where to look without me even realizing it. I zeroed in on the Cullen's and the other two vampires. One was female, probably Tanya, and the other male – clearly a nomad.

Sometime during my assessment of the two unfamiliar vampires, Edward looked our way. When my eyes locked with his, he smirked and turned his attention to Tanya and whispered something in her ear. She looked absolutely giddy as she nodded enthusiastically. Both walked on to the dance floor.

"I guess that's Tanya," I said absentmindedly to Jasper.

"Yeah, and the other one is Garrett, Alice's date," he replied in a terrifying voice, startling even me for a moment.

"How do you know who he is?"

"While you were eyeballing Edward and his date, I was listening to what the rest of them were talking about. From what I gathered, Tanya came into town with her brother-in-law, Garrett there. Alice brought him so she wouldn't be the fifth wheel. She doesn't like him." He sounded a little calmer now.

I nodded and then turned my head back in the direction that I saw Edward and Tanya walk off in. I found them on the dance floor, snuggled close and dancing. He had a smile on his face and looked truly happy. I couldn't look any longer.

"Hey," Jasper said, bumping my shoulder. "I can feel that, you know," he said. I shrugged in response.

"How about one dance and then we get out of here? We haven't gone dancing in forever."

I smiled up at him, truly meaning it even though the moment was fleeting. I loved dancing with Jasper. He held out his hand for me and I took it easily. We stepped onto the dance floor, drowning in the sea of delicious filet mignons. He held me close as we swayed to the music. The song called for faster movements, but this was what we both needed right now.

"Thanks for this, Jasper. I love you, you know."

"I love you to, babe."

We continued to dance slow, never detaching ourselves from one another. Like a sixth sense calling to me, looked in the other direction just in time to see Edward place gentle kisses on Tanya's throat. I never wanted to cry so hard in my life and that was saying something.

The weeks that followed were hard, extremely hard, but Jasper and I were holding strong. We all stayed away from each other. A united front had never been stronger; only one time threatening to crack. The week after the dance, neither Edward nor Alice seemed affected by our separation. They would laugh with each other and Rosalie and Emmett. They didn't look our way any longer and couldn't care less that we were less than 200 feet from them.

The physical pain the Carlisle had mentioned slowly crept over us; enveloping us like a smothering blanket. Vague headaches that I've never experienced suddenly occurred every day. My chest felt tight and a craving for something unidentifiable could not be satiated.

The Cullens were much better at this game. Jasper and I were just going through the motions, _acting_ like everything was okay. Our days were full of school work and sulking.

By the third week, we were much worse. We were worn down. Conversation was limited as were ou r tempers . We were just there with an extremely short fuse. We hadn't even bothered to drink.

The forth week we hit an all time low. We both became weak from not having fed. Our eyes were black and it was impossible hiding them. Even still, we didn't feed. However, we continued to go to school. Neither one of us would admit it, but the only reason why we still came was to get a glimpse of our happy mates.

It was at lunch when our self-imposed torture was forced to come to a stop. Jasper and I were sitting by ourselves at a lunch table, hoods up, not wanting the company of others. As we continued sitting in silence, we sniffed the air just in time to see two familiar figures join us.

"This shit has to stop right now," Rosalie hissed while Emmett nodded his head next to her.

"'We don't know what you're talking about," I replied, angry.

"Look, Alice told us that she saw you killing a student in the parking lot. I'm here to warn you. We know you haven't been eating. Do you even realize how black your eyes are?"

Jasper and I looked at each other, embarrassed. It's true that we hadn't been eating, but I didn't think we had gotten to the point where we would kill a human so desperately.

"We don't approve of your diet, buy do what you need to do to prevent _all_ of our exposure," Emmett continued.

"And when you're both well fed, you're coming back to our place to talk. This shit is ridiculous," Rosalie cut in.

Jasper and I said nothing, but agreed. Maybe it was time to face the inevitable. We left after Rosalie and Emmett went back to join Edward and Alice, who were looking straight at us. We had to go hunt, and soon.

We drove to Port Angeles, right after lunch, too weak to make the run. We looked for distracted pedestrians. It should have been an easy take down, but it wasn't. We only saw couples, holding hands, laughing with each other, looking happy. Jasper and I must have been thinking the same thing since neither one of us made a move to attack. We just looked on longingly.

"You can't do it either, can you?" Jasper asked as he continued to look at an elderly couple holding hands, resting on a bench.

I shook my head. "We're gonna starve," I added. Jasper remained silent.

"You can't fight me on this, Bella. It's either starving or going along with it."

"Along with what?"

"We're going hunting…with Rosalie and Emmett," he answered cautiously.

Jasper was clearly not thinking straight. Adding two more to our hunting party would make the situation worse. "That's a dumb solution, Jasper. When was the last time we hunted with other vampires? It's too dangerous." He was slowly losing his mind. "It's slim pickings now, anyway. Port Angeles is a small town and four missing people would definitely be noticed."

"That's not what I mean," he said and then began hesitating. "_We_ go hunting with _them_…for animals."

I stared at Jasper before breaking out into a loud laughter.

"You're crazy," I said seriously. "Drinking animal blood isn't natural."

" We should at least try it. You and I both know both know that things are changing." He held out his arms. "For the first time, we're feeling _guilty_ about killing humans." He sighed in defeat. "How about this, we'll go to Rose and Emmett for help and if they refuse us, we pack up and leave Forks? Plans or no plans."

I hated that Jasper was right. Things were changing; things needed to change. The two of us couldn't go on like this. Edward and Alice may have no lingering feelings, but Jasper and I did. Maybe mating could be a one-sided attraction.

"Fine," I sighed. "And exactly how are we supposed to get them to let us tag along?"

"We'll go back to the school. Hopefully, they'll still be there. I can't see them _not_ helping us."

And that's what we did. It was easy, maybe too easy, to get them to agree to take us hunting. Thankfully, Edward and Alice didn't say anything when we approached Rose and Emmett and no one asked questions.

Drinking animals was…different. They weren't really disgusting, but not that great, either. In no way did they compare to humans and I had no idea how the Cullen's did it every time. And putting taste aside, the hunt was more trouble than it was worth. The animalistic instinct to fight and defend was a pain in my ass. At least most humans become paralyzed with fear, making it an easy kill. I didn't know how Jasper felt about drinking animals, but I didn't really like it. It took three deer before I felt full, but not satisfied.

"You ready to do this?" Emmett asked a little too excited for my liking.

"Ugh, let's just get this over with." I grasped Jasper's hand and motioned with my other for Emmett and Rosalie to lead the way.

It seemed like everyone was expecting us. They probably were thanks to Alice.

"Bella, Jasper, it's so great to see you again. I see that you've tried our diet. How was it?" Carlisle's calm demeanor was unnervingly tolerable. I wasn't annoyed at Carlisle, though Alice was another story.

"It was…an experience," Jasper said, looking a little repulsed himself.

Carlisle laughed lightly. "I guess it does take some getting used to. Please, come and make yourselves comfortable."

We all reconvened in the family's living room. The ambiance of the room was very warm, inviting, and comfortable. However, it was Jasper and I on one side and the rest of them on the other so it felt very confrontational.

"I think we should just all cut to the chase," Rosalie voiced. "The shit between the four is wearing on all are nerves. You all need to hook up, get married, and move on with your lives."

"Rosalie!" Esme chided.

"Sorry ma, but we all know it's true," Rosalie mumbled. I couldn't help but chuckle. For the first time, the people in front of us actually seemed like a family.

I figured I should be the one to talk first. "I guess I should start out by saying that Jasper and I aren't heartless people…or vampires. Whatever." I shook my head in confusion. All these vampires acting like humans was too much. "Jasper and I have a special bond. The story is ours to tell, but it's not something that is relieved easily. I'll leave it up to Jasper what he wants known."

"Of course. We're not here to pry into your lives," Esme stated. "I hope that's not what you think we're after." She was genuine and I liked her a little more for it.

I turned to Jasper, silently giving him the floor if he wanted it. He looked at me with trepidation at first, but suddenly looked very determined. He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and turned to address the audience – or more likely Alice.

"I was changed by a woman named Maria when I was a soldier, like I told you. She wanted control of Southern territories. She said I would make a good vampire soldier. I was," Jasper said, smirking. I couldn't help but nod proudly in agreement, even though I didn't know Jasper in his vampire army days.

"Anyway, I did everything that she asked me to; I went above and beyond. I was enamored with her; truly felt that I loved her. Even after the war for the territories were over, I followed her around like a lost puppy."

"The night that I turned Bella and brought her to our then home, Maria was furious with me. She claimed that I was trying to replace her, use Bella to help steal the territories that she claimed as her own. I tied to assure her that wasn't the case, but I couldn't explain the draw that I felt toward Bella."

Because the room was quiet, everyone clearly heard Edward's growl. I had a great urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"Not like that, man," Jasper said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "Bella's my best friend, has been since I saw her bleeding through her dress and cloche hat. Maria was threatened by Bella; hated that she was around. It wasn't until we all discovered that Bella had an ability that Maria became accepting of her. She saw Bella as an asset. It wasn't until I called Maria out that she made me choose. It was her or Bella, and if I chose her, than I had to "take care" of Bella."

This was the hard part, but Jasper was doing great. I grabbed his hand and gripped it hard. He still carried around guilt; even though I told him countless times that he was forgiven.

"You have to remember, I really thought I loved Maria, do anything for her. Without knowing what I know now, I would even go as far as to say that she was my mate. I chose Maria. She told me to take Bella and kill her, burn her. It killed me to do it, but I did what I thought I had to do. Under the ruse of going hunting, I dragged Bella into the woods with me. When we were far enough away, I bit down into her neck. My plan was to tear off her head and then burn the rest of her, but I couldn't. When she let out her desperate cries of pain, I stopped. I licked the wound, apologized, and told her to get away. The emotion – the pain – was insurmountable."

Jasper stopped and took breath. This was torture for him; I knew it was. I was so proud that he was getting through it.

"Maria believed me when I told her Bella was dead. She suggested that we leave. We were in South Carolina at the time and from there we traveled west. The whole time I was with Maria, I never thought of anything else but Bella – what was she doing, was she okay? It was a year and a half when I couldn't take it any longer. Within that time I realized that Maria never loved _me_; she loved what I could do for her. I almost killed my best friend for her. I got away from Maria as soon as I found a way of escape. While on my own, I came across a mated couple, Peter and Charlotte. They took a permanent residence in a small town in California. Peter was a tracker and I went to him to help me find Bella. It took eight years, but he was able to track Bella to Brazil. Bella and I have been together ever since. We won't be separated again. I love her, and just like you're family, Bella and I are family; we only have each other."

I wrapped my arms around Jasper's neck. Just as much it hurt him to talk about it, it hurt me just as much to hear. I wasn't bitter, but I knew that Jasper was hurting. I unwrapped my arms from around his neck, noticing that the room remained quiet. I really wish I had Edward's ability to read minds, because their silence was making me anxious. No one was saying anything.

"Jasper, I think we should go," I whispered to him, pointing to the door behind us when the silence became too much. He nodded and we stood to leave.

"Wait, you can't go," Alice cried loudly, effectively halting us in our tracks.

"Alice is right," Carlisle said. "We all know that the separation hasn't been easy on anyone."

Wrong, Carlisle. Edward was just fine with that Tanya vampire. If that was what he wanted, then I was going to be fine with it. It hurt, badly, but if he was happy I would try to be happy for him…but from afar.

And then it clicked; like a sudden epiphany that people talk about in movies. _If you love something, let it go._

I turned to look at Jasper who was, unsurprisingly, gazing at Alice. We needed to do this_. I_ needed to do this for Edward, myself, but mostly for Jasper. He was the most deserving of happiness of anyone I've ever known.

"Jasper, stay. You're place is here with Alice. If anyone can adapt to a new lifestyle, it's you. Alice is your mate; you need to be with her." I put my hand over his mouth before he could argue. "This isn't the Maria thing; it's genuine this time. We both know it's true. _I_ can feel the pull between you two. Just remember that I'll always love you and I'll always be your best friend." I retracted my shield from Jasper, leaned forward and gave him one last kiss on the cheek.

Before anyone could react, I leapt out the open window. I heard a chorus of "no's" behind me but kept going.


	5. Chapter 5

**BPOV**

I ran with everything that I had in me. If I was human I was sure that my legs would have fallen off about five miles back. The funny - or maybe it was sad - thing was that I didn't hear any footsteps behind me. No one _tried_ to follow me. I told myself that I didn't want to be followed, but rather just left alone. However, I couldn't deny that I was slightly hurt that no one was racing after me. Not even Jasper – my best friend and savior.

I did this to myself, though. I told Jasper to be happy with Alice and he was taking my advice.

I didn't want to go home, and although it was a small town, I didn't know Forks very well. There was also the fact that I didn't want to be around in case any of them did decide to look for me later on. Spending a few hours on my own was good to clear my head.

As I continued to run, I began feeling like shit, or at least the equivalent to a vampire feeling like shit. What made it worse was that Jasper was part of the problem. No. He wasn't a problem, but a change that needed to happen.

Running in no discernible direction, I made a quick decision to take an impromptu trip to Seattle. It was about seven in the evening now and if I could get what I needed fairly quickly, I could be back in Forks before ten. I knew what I needed, wanted rather, and I hoped that it would be easy to obtain.

I reached Seattle quicker than I anticipated. I stopped at a nearby phone booth, shocked to see one at all. Not only was it a working phone booth, but there was also a phone book attached. I took this as a positive sign. I quickly looked up the address that I needed and fled in the direction that I believed to be right. Because Seattle was a lot more industrialized and congested than Forks, running wasn't a safe option.

Like the stereotypical vampire, I scaled a building using a back wall and jumped from rooftop to rooftop. Luckily, it was dark and the day was coming to a close. I was roof-hopping for a few minutes before I reached my destination. I jumped down from the roof, into a decently clean back alley. I walked around to the front of the building. Like I anticipated, it was closed for the day. I took in my surroundings, looking to see if I was garnering any attention. The street was basically deserted except for a few people waiting for the bus down the street.

I walked to the side of the building, hoping by chance there was an open window. There wasn't. I walked back to the alley, deciding it was my best bet for entry. My intention was to pry open the closest window to the ground, but I was surprised when I found it to be unlocked. I guess locking windows in this building wasn't usually necessary. Who breaks into a blood back these days?

Lithely sliding through the window, I quietly entered and made my way to the front lobby. The displayed directory saved me the energy of having to search the whole building for the floor I needed, even though it would have only taken a short moment. The stored blood was already permeating the air. According to the directory, I needed to head to the third floor where the donated blood was kept.

The massive storage units were easy to find as they took up almost the entire back rooms. Making my way over to the closest freezer, I realized that they were locked, effectively ending my fortunate luck. I didn't want to break the lock or rip off the door, making my theft apparent. I scanned the room looking for something to help me pick the lock. In the far corner of the room, I spotted a desk that held a nameplate on it. Lorraine was lucky woman.

Rummaging through the drawers, I found what I hoped I would a nail file. Typical. I picked the lock of the unit closest to me. If I thought the smell of the blood was strong before, it was nothing compared to the way it smelled now that I occupied the same space. The unit was almost completely full. Hopefully, the missing pints of blood wouldn't be detected immediately. I swiped seven pints of blood from the back; it was more than enough for the moment. Seven pints should be a synch to replace.

I stepped out of the unit, with my seven bags in hand, and locked the unit again. I ran downstairs toward the window I had entered through and left the same way. The first part of my mission was complete. The second one would be harder as I hadn't familiarized myself with the city. If I had been back in New York I would have had no problem finding what I needed.

I had no idea in which direction I should go. Stopping in front of the building a moment to think, I decided to go left. The left hand of the devil. It seemed like a fitting start. I continued walking, sniffing the air at the same time, hoping I would catch a whiff of the desired scent. After walking a couple of blocks, I caught a faint trace. I followed the scent, noticing the deeper I walked into the neighborhood, the seedier it became. Soon enough, the scent of the cocaine was right under my nose. Sitting on a stoop across the street was a young guy. Riding in his back was an unassuming book bag that I knew contained the pepper to my Bloody Mary. The smell was strong; definitely intent to distribute. I crossed the street while I watched him eye me warily.

"Hey," I said by way of greeting. He continued scoping me before saying a word. I could see fear, lust, curiosity, and defiance mixed in his eyes.

"So…how much do you have?" I asked, nodding to his backpack.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He was terrible liar.

I sighed, becoming impatient. "I really don't have time for this. How much do you have?" I asked again.

He began looking me over again, scrutinizing me.

"You a cop?"

"Do I look like cop?" I asked, the same way I had seen all the cops do on that television show.

"They all say that before they throw you to the ground and cuff you," he replied, smugly.

"Whatever," I said before turning to leave.

"Wait!" he shouted when I had taken two steps to leave. I grinned but reined it in when I turned to look at him.

"Come with me," he said. He gripped the handles of his bag, stood up, and nodded toward the inside of the building. I looked to see if anyone was around before I followed him into the dirty lobby. It wasn't being arrested that I was afraid of.

"How much do you need?" He was no nonsense, probably wanting to hurry the transaction.

"Again, how much do you have?" I asked, highly annoyed. I sighed heavily to demonstrate my growing irritation.

"In total? About half a kilo."

Shit! That was a lot more that a street dealer usually carried. Luckily, money wasn't an issue.

"Alright, give it to me."

He looked at me flabbergasted, like I had grown a second head or third eye.

"You want all of it?" he asked, incredulously. "Are you sure you don't want a gram or two?"

"I didn't say I wanted a gram. I said give it all to me," I replied slowly, realizing I was probably dealing with an idiot.

He didn't make a move to extract anything from his bag. I sighed again and reached into my back pocket. I pulled out a thin fold of money that contained nothing but hundreds. I very rarely carried this much money on me and I had no idea why I put it in my pocket this morning. Everything happened for a reason. Although I had a considerable amount of money on me for someone who should be seventeen, it wasn't nearly enough to pay for half a kilo of cocaine.

He stared at the money wide-eyed. It wasn't until he hastily opened his bag and started handing the stuff to me, that I knew that I truly was dealing with a moron. He didn't even wait until I handed him the money to count it to before supplying me.

"Just…just give me your fucking bag," I screeched. I wanted to get out of here already.

He halted his movements and handed me the bag. I quickly grabbed it, tossed the money at him, and dashed out the door. I would be long gone before he realized that he had been severely shorted. I felt guilty for a nano second when I realized the tremendous amount of trouble he would get into with his supplier. It was a fleeting thought. I could have killed him. Either way, he was as good as dead.

I dumped the bags of blood that I had strategically placed into my jeans, into the bag. Looking at my phone, I saw that it wasn't even nine yet. I also noticed I had more than forty missed calls, text messages, and voice mails. I powered off my phone and began running in the direction that I had come from. I needed a quiet, desolate place to hang out at for awhile, my apartment not being an option. As I continued to run, I remembered a beach that Jasper and I had passed when we went to Port Angeles. At this time of night, it had to be empty, giving me the peace I needed to get high…to forget.

The beach was tranquil with only the soft splashes of the infrequent waves. There were a few teenagers huddled around a camp fire. I recognized a few of them from the school. I walked in the opposite direction until I was met with cliffs that divided the beach from the woods.

I sat down on the damp sand and pulled the back pack in front of me, pulling out a pint of blood and six little baggies. Hopefully, it would be enough to last more than a few seconds before burning off. I ripped open the top of the blood storage bag. I poured the powder into the blood, stirring thoroughly. Venom flooded my mouth as I took in the blended smell.

I wanted a straw, to be able to savor it slowly. I chuckled at the image. I brought the blood mixture to my lips and began drinking it slowly. All too quickly, the blood was gone, but I felt…good. I could feel myself smiling. Cocaine was a weird drug for a vampire. It didn't make me feel uber strong; the blood itself actually did that. The cocaine had a calming effect, like a muscle relaxer to a human.

A few minutes later, I began feeling sober again. And it couldn't have happened sooner. I sniffed the air around me when I smelled something wretched. I turned my head to see a huge dog stalking my way. I wasn't afraid, but I wasn't in the mood to engage in a wrestling match with the mutt.

I loved dogs in my human life and hurting them wasn't something I wanted to do.

I got up slowly, using only calculated moves, hoping I wouldn't startle the animal. The dog, which was the size of a damn horse, continued creeping my way, baring its sharp looking teeth.

I walked backwards, not even thinking about taking my eyes off the thing.

"Shoo! Shoo!" I felt absolutely ridiculous shooing it away, like it would actually listen. It began snarling.

"Hey! Hey, you! Big dog. Go away!"

To my utter surprise, the dog began charging right at me, murder in its eyes. It was fast, like incredibly fast. I leapt over it right before it plowed into me.

"The fuck?" I screamed into the air.

The dog came to a stop and turned right back around with great precision. It was like destroying me was the only thing on its mind. Catching me off guard, the dog jumped on me, trying to bite me but not able to get too close because of my hands around its throat.

Gathering all the momentum I could, I got my legs underneath the dog and kicked him with all my might. The power behind my kick sent the dog hurdling into the rock wall behind him. It became dazed has rocks came tumbling down. I used the opportunity to get the hell out of there. I ran in the direction to my apartment, suddenly wanting nothing more than to be with Edward…I meant Jasper.

**EPOV**

"Get off of me!" I tried breaking free from Emmett's hold while Jasper struggled to shake Carlisle off of him.

"No," Carlisle replied. "You two need to calm down and think rationally before we even consider letting either of you go. She needs time."

Jasper stopped trying to break free, but still wasn't let go.

"With all due respect, Carlisle, you don't know what Bella needs," he said.

Carlisle took an exaggerated breath. "Alice, can you see where Bella is headed?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "There's nothing. There's never anything with her."

"Jasper, Edward, if we let you go do you promise to sit down so we can talk civilly?" He looked pointedly at the both of us. "After that, I don't care what you do," Carlisle asked.

"Fine." Jasper relented first. Realizing that I wasn't going to be free of Emmett soon, I agreed right after.

"Look, I know you are both upset, but she does need time to process everything. This is a huge deal. A big change is coming and she needs to learn how to handle it," he argued. "She thinks leaving Jasper to be with Alice is for the best. Mating is new for her - for both of them. Bella won't be able to stay away from you. She's going to come back but she needs time and space to think."

I heard Jasper snort from across the room. It suddenly occurred to me that he was no longer under Bella's protective shield.

"What do you mean it's my fault?" I asked him angrily. He cocked an eyebrow, realizing that I had read his mind. He began running through all the fun times that he and Bella shared while they were together, smiling smugly at me. Luckily for him, none of his thoughts were sexual.

"Real cute." He was blocking his thoughts with his memories.

"What's going on, you two?" Esme asked while her eyes darted between the two of us.

"Jasper thinks that it's my fault that Bella left and that she won't come back . He doesn't care to explain," I answered her, angrily. Jasper still didn't say a word, instead focused on the night he and Bella visited a carnival somewhere in New England.

"Jasper, please, what does that mean?" Alice asked softly while gripping his forearm. Jasper turned to her and I could see his resolve slipping. He turned to me and glared.

"What I mean," he began, menacingly, "is that Bella _did _believe that you were her mate, but that was before she saw you at the dance with that other vampire. The two of you did look quite cozy." He was angry at me. In his mind, he kept imaging ripping my arms and lips off, the parts that he saw touching Tanya while Bella watched on.

And I was angry…at Alice. I wanted to scream, and I did.

"You," I said pointing and stalking toward Alice. When I was less than five feet away from her, Jasper crouched in front of her protectively. I stopped in my tracks, but still undeterred.

"This is your fault, Alice. You were the one who told me to bring Tanya to the dance and let Bella see us. You said if I made Bella jealous that she would come running into my arms. I don't even like Tanya. Now, because of you, Bella thinks that I don't lov…like her," I seethed. Jasper looked at me, smirking at my almost slip.

I felt it in my dead heart that Alice's plan was wrong, but went with it anyway.

"Yeah, well, now she's gone. You have your Jasper, but my Bella left." I turned away from Alice, not able to look at her right now and rubbed my hands over my face.

"Your Bella," Jasper scoffed. He continued goading me with flashes of all the adventures they had been on and their eclectic meals.

"What was that?" I asked, hurrying to him. IS with only with great restraints that I didn't grab him by the collar. "Are you serious?" I asked him incredulously, after seeing the images played out in his mind.

"What happened? What's going on?" Emmett asked worriedly. I was still paying close attention to Jasper's thoughts.

"I'm so damn sick of these silent communications," Rosalie spat. "Either tell the rest of us what's going on or take it to another room."

I ignored her and turned to Jasper. "Bella's a drug addict?" I asked him. It sounded weird, even to my own ears. Everyone except Alice and Jasper looked at me like I was absolutely nuts.

"Son, I don't think vampires can be drug addicts," Carlisle replied, although it lacked his usual certainty.

Jasper smirked at me, amused and knowing. "No, she's not a drug addict, but yes she does do drugs now and then."

Esme gasped while the rest seemed…stunned?

"How is it even possible for a vampire to do drugs?" Emmett asked. His tone sounded a bit too curious for Rosalie's liking.

"Don't you even think about it," she warned him. He smiled sheepishly. In his defense, he really was just curious.

Jasper sighed. "It's not really doing drugs, per se. She likes to drink from someone who has. She drinks their blood while the drug still lingers. It doesn't last long before the venom eventually burns it away."

"And how do _you_ know?" Alice asked, corking an eyebrow. Jasper rolled his eyes at her tone.

"Because I've done it, too. It's no big deal."

"Jasper, what kinds of effects do drugs have on vampires?" Carlisle asked. Science was just oozing from his thoughts.

"They all have the same effect, just on different levels. It doesn't matter if it's an upper or downer or, it has a calming effect."

"That's what _you_ do, though. Why can't you just give her a calm feeling?"

"Because I can't make you feel something physically, it's only a mental thing. You can actually feel the euphoria deep down in your bones the few moments the drug lives in your system. And while it's a great feeling, addiction is not possible."

"How often do you do it?" Emmett asked.

"We haven't done it since we've been in Forks. It reached its peak in New York; at least every other time we fed. I don't mind the effect, but the drug throws off the taste of the blood. I did it mostly because Bella wanted to. The taste of blood appeals to me more."

"I can't believe this," I muttered to myself. "My mate does drugs."

"Are we talking about the same person?" Jasper asked. "Because from what we saw, your mate isn't Bella." He was testing me

"Argg," I roared. "I told you, Tanya isn't my mate. Bringing Tanya to that stupid dance was _your _mate's dumb idea, to get Bella to see reason. Obviously, I should have never done it in the first place," I said while glaring at Alice. At least she had the decency to look ashamed.

"You do realize that you have a lot of making up to do to, right?" he asked, making it sound more like a statement.

As I was about to respond, I saw Alice stiffen in Jasper's arm. She was having a vision, but then it suddenly vanished.

"The wolves," I whispered, fear coursing through my whole body.

The family was immediately on edge.

"Wolves? What wolves?" he asked. He was frantic with worry, most of which probably wasn't really his.

"I have to get her." I raced out the room. Someone else could fill him in. I also heard Carlisle's voice telling me not to step foot on the reservation.

I ran instead of taking a car. It would have taken up too much time to get into a garage and drive off. In no time I was pacing the territory line, trying to see if I spotted her. I had no idea how long I had been pacing - seconds, minutes, or hours - before I finally saw someone running, too fast to be human. Hot on her heels was, indeed, one of the wolves.

"Edward?" she asked when she came to a screeching halt. She didn't let me respond. "We gotta go. I have no clue what the fuck _that_ is, but there is a big ass dog chasing me, c'mon." She grabbed my arm, trying to get me to follow her.

"Bella, wait." She looked at me as if I was crazy. I pulled her behind me when the wolf reached the territory line. Immediately I recognized the wolf.

"Jacob," I called out. "There has been a great misunderstanding. She's new to Forks and doesn't know about the treaty. Give my family the chance to explain it to them."

The wolf never took its murderous eyes off Bella. After a moment, he huffed, spit flying everywhere, and turned to leave. When Jacob was out of sight, I turned to Bella.

"Are you okay?"

She looked at me wide-eyed. "What the fuck was that?!" she exclaimed, pointing in the direction where the wolf was standing.

"A werewolf."

"Are you fucking with me right now?" I shook my head. "A werewolf?" She huffed out a laugh. "That girl, Angela, right? The one from school?" I looked at her, confused. "She's the witch, right?"

"What are you talking about?" Jasper was sorely mistaken if he thought the drugs had no effect. Bella was clearly tripping.

"I'm assuming there's a witch in this damn town. It has to be her; I always said it's the quiet ones. What the hell kind of town did we move to?" She was pacing back and forth with her hands fisted in her hair. "Vampires, and werewolves, and witches. They say New York is dangerous. Fucking Forks." She was rambling now to no one in particular. The more she went on, the harder it was for me to not laugh.

"Bella," I said loudly to get her attention. "As far as I know, there are no witches, at least in Forks. Can we go to your apartment to talk and this is not the best place."

"Is Jasper there?" she asked, hesitantly.

"I'm not sure, but I don't think so. I'll call Alice to make sure." A quick call confirmed that Jasper was still at my house so we headed to her apartment.

It was more spacious than I thought it would be for an apartment in this small town. I couldn't help but notice that there were also two bedrooms. For this, I was extremely happy. We sat down in the living room in silence before she spoke.

"How did you know where I was?"

"Alice."

"Of course," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"What's your problem with Alice?" Never in the all the time Alice had been with our family, was someone so hostile to her like Bella was. Alice was the one who everyone felt easiest to be around.

She sighed before answering. "Nothing, really. I just have to get used to the fact that Jasper is leaving me to be with her. I'm still a little bitter, but I want him to be happy and she does that for him. I just…I just need to get my shit together so leaving will be easier. I'm not sticking around; watching Jasper slowly put me on the back burner. I'm gonna give him a little time and then ask him to draw me up some new papers. Maybe I'll go back to New York; I wasn't really ready to leave there anyway." She shrugged like what she said was no big deal. Her words left me reeling inside.

"But what about us? I'm your mate." I was a little frantic with the thought of my mate leaving without me.

She looked sad. The venom glistened in her eyes until a venomous tear cascaded down her cheek. I wiped it away before it could do more damage.

"Ya know, I never thought there could be a vampire mate love triangle. Girl vampire likes boy vampire, but boy vampire likes different girl vampire. Shows how much I know. It's all very high school." She gently removed my thumb from her face. "Look Edward, don't worry about me. I _have_ come to the realization that you're my mate, but I know that I'm not yours. I want you to go be happy with Tanya. I know how to be on my own; I've done it before." She tried offering me smile, but it was obviously forced.

"Bella, you don't understand. Tanya's not my mate. You are. That day we touched. You felt it," I stated, not questioned. "Have you ever felt anything like that with Jasper?" She shook her head. "I know you don't feel it with Jasper, and I can guarantee I've never felt that with Tanya."

"Then why were you kissing Tanya?" she asked in a small voice. I'd never seen her look so vulnerable.

If I was a smart man, I would have lied about the whole thing. Or told her how beautiful she was and how smart and how I was the luckiest vampire in existence. Instead, I tried explaining that night in the best way to make me look less like an asshole. It wasn't going very well.

"You tell me all this and wonder why I haven't made Alice my bestie?"

"I know. I was furious too when I found out you thought she was my mate, but Alice really did think that she was helping.

"Yeah, whatever," she muttered and let the subject drop. We sat in silence again. I don't know what she was thinking about, but I couldn't stop thinking about the human blood that was in the bag not fifty feet away. I was constantly swallowing venom. It was a lot more concentrated than I was use to around walking, talking humans.

"Why are you so hung up about not leaving Jasper?" I needed a distraction from the smell.

I continued looking at Bella, waiting for her to respond, but nothing came. I could see the warring in her eyes. There was a story behind it all.

"Bella, please," I pleaded, taking her hand in mind. "If we're going to be together, I need to understand." She looked at our joined hands, slightly smiling. It was another moment before she spoke again.

"I never told Jasper this, since he still let's himself be haunted by his demons. I've forgiven him already because it was what he needed to hear. I kept telling him there was nothing to forgive." She started tracing random pattern on the back of my hand. "After the shock of Jasper trying to kill me, I had no idea what I as supposed to do with myself. The woods became my home and I drank from the unlucky person who happened to be hiking on the trail. I was never on my own and I had no idea how to exist without another vampire. But after awhile, I realized I couldn't stay in my spot any longer and risk being found out. I began traveling east just to go somewhere. I just ran. When I arrived in New Jersey it didn't feel right to be there. Have you ever seen that movie Forrest Gump? The one where he just keeps running?" she asked me. I nodded. It was a pretty good movie.

"Well, that was me. I would get somewhere, stop to drink, and then start running again. Or swimming if I hit a body of water. It just helped clear my mind, focusing on the speed and the scenery passing me by."

"One day, and don't ask me how, I found myself in Amsterdam. I was so hungry that I came close to drinking someone in the middle of the street. When I realized what I was about to do, I ran and hid behind a coffee shop. I killed the barista when he was bringing the trash out the back. That's when I found out it was a smoking coffee shop. Good times." She stopped and smiled to herself. "That's actually how I picked up the preference of blood. It's different, but it's still a hell of a lot better than animal blood." She was probably right.

"Anyway, I was still lurking behind the coffee shop when I happened upon another vampire. At first I was wary because as strange as it may sound, aside from the time I was with Maria and Jasper, I never encountered another vampire while I was alone. After awhile, I became confident enough that he wasn't going to hurt me. Big mistake."

I had no idea where this story was going. Aside from having her limbs ripped off or being burned there really is no way to hurt a vampire.

"His name was Alistair. He told me that he was on his way to the rain forests of Peru to reconnect with an old friend. He asked if I wanted to join him. I jumped on the opportunity. If I only knew then what I knew now." She had a far away looks in her eyes. "I was tired of being alone and I thought the company would help me forget about Jasper. I thought about him every day." Bella expelled an airless breath. "The trip started out fine. We talked and got to know each other better. There were signs that I should have paid attention to, but didn't at the time. Like the way he killed humans. Now I know that your family is against it in general, but I do it as humanly as possible. I kill them quickly so they don't feel any pain and then drink from them. Not Alistair, though. He liked to torture them, play with his food. His meals would cry, beg, and even tried to barter for their lives. I started to think _I_ was the strange one; wanting to end their lives quickly. Every time we drank together it happened this way."

"The more time we spent together and the closer we got to Peru, the worse things got. I want to say we got closer, but that wasn't true." She smiled ruefully. "I always tell Jasper that vampires aren't that different from humans, especially when it comes to relationships."

What was that supposed to mean?

"Did you have the same type of relationship with Alistair that you have – had - with Jasper?" I had to know, even if it meant I suffered from hearing what I didn't want to.

"No, not at all," she confessed eagerly. I'd never been so relieved in my life. "Jasper's my best friend - my family. Alistair was company. I didn't want to be lonely anymore. That's why I stayed after the things he did to me."

"What did he do?" I asked as I plotted his destruction.

"It was your textbook abusive relationship. He would grab me, shove me and order me around. The day that I finally had enough, loneliness be damned, I fought back. He grabbed hard enough to partially remove it. When he removed his hand from my bicep I ran. Again. I only stopped to eat. Then Jasper found me in Brazil. We've been together ever since."

The anger and gratitude I felt towards Jasper was unreal. She had been through so much in her less than one hundred years of being a vampire. _She_ was the one that deserved to be happy.

"Do you think that you could leave again and be on your own?" I asked, looking for assurance, more than clarification.

"I don't kno. Do I need a reason to think about being alone?" She had a small, uncertain smile on her face.

I didn't immediately understand why she was asking. Until it clicked. I gave her a huge smile.

"No."

I leaned in close to kiss her, but only got to graze her lips before Jasper barged through the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: All things Twilight belong to SM (Do people still put disclaimers on their story?)**

**BPOV**

Jasper barged through the door, taking it off its hinges and thoroughly scaring the shit out of me.

"Bella," Jasper said, way too calmly to mean he actually was calm. There was fire in his eyes; a look that I had only seen a handful of times. _This_ Jasper terrified me.

"Why am I just hearing about this?" he asked. He forcefully shrugged Alice's hand off his shoulder when she tried to soothe away his anger. This was not good. Mate or not, he was never rude to the opposite sex; never even drank from them if he could help it.

Alice looked hurt but it wasn't my place to care nor assuage the awkwardness. I was worried for myself. If Jasper completely disregarded his mate's attempt at calming him down, what the hell would he do to me?

"I, um…uh…what the hell were you doing eavesdropping, anyway?" I tried to angrily deflect.

"What? Don't give me that shit. Answer my question?"

I sighed, knowing that there was no way out of this. With any luck, Jasper wouldn't try to finish what Alistair started. I was angry that Jasper was here, with Alice no less, and pissed off at me for no good reason.

"What the hell did you expect me to do, Jasper?" I blew up. "You went out of your way to find me and when you did, you wouldn't stop apologizing. Did you really expect me to throw _that_ in your face on top of everything else? Besides, it had nothing to do with you. I was the one who was dumb enough to follow another vampire because I was lonely." As I heard my own words in my ears, anger was no longer a fitting emotion. Sad didn't even seem right. It was if I was finally admitting to myself that Jasper had done me wrong. Still though, I couldn't place the blame squarely on his shoulders.

I was hurt that Jasper left me in the first place, mad at myself for believing Alistair really cared about me, relieved that I was reunited with Jasper, and heartbroken that our friendship shifted when we came to this god forsaken place. In total, I was just a mess.

Jasper's face softened. He walked over to me, picked me up and wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me hard.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he spoke while nuzzling my neck. "I just wish you would have told me. And Alistair out of all people? Why him?"

"How do you know Alistair?" I asked, breaking out of his embrace.

"Alistair _Grievings_?" he asked me. I nodded in confirmation when Jasper used his surname. "I've known him for many years; before turning you. He had a thing for Maria," he explained. A hiss could be heard coming from Alice. I smirked and rolled my eyes at her, amused that we had a mutual hatred for a vampire that was long gone.

"Anyway," Jasper continued. "Maria wasn't interested and he despised the relationship I had with her. The feeling was mutual." Even without Jasper's gift, I could feel the anger rolling off of him.

"Can't we just forget about it? It was a long time ago and isn't important enough to bring up anymore," I pleaded with Jasper. I wanted to get past the things that happened and couldn't be changed.

At the same time, I heard both Edward and Jasper scoff.

"What?" I asked, annoyed at the both of them.

Jasper held out his hand toward Edward, gesturing to him to answer. He did.

"It is important because you're important. If anything would have happened to you, Jasper would have been devastated and I would never have met my mate." I rolled my eyes and turned to Jasper.

"It's true, Bella," Jasper said. "I have no idea what I would have done if I found out that you were hurt, or worse, killed. You've been the one to keep me alive all these years." It was my turn to scoff.

"I'm serious. After I walked away from you in the woods, I was never happy. I tried to convince myself that I did the right thing by choosing Maria. I was wrong. I wasn't happy again until I found you."

Damn him! I wanted to cry. I was a crier when I was human, but as a vampire it was painful. I had promised myself years ago, when the tear tracks finally began to heal, that I would be stronger than that. I wouldn't let the pain be my punishment for things that were beyond my control.

"Bella?" Alice had stepped up from behind Jasper. "Thank you."

"No problem, shorty rock, but what the hell for?" I looked to Edward, knowing he used his freaky mind reading ability on Alice. He shook his head and pointed to Alice. I turned back to her.

"For keeping Jasper alive," she continued. "I don't know why I didn't see him coming until he did, but I can't ever thank you enough for keeping him happy. I was waiting a long time to find my mate. I know you don't like the situation very much, but if it wasn't for you we all would have lived the rest of our existence miserably."

She was so damn sincere, so much so that I began feeling uncomfortable with the affection that dripped from her words. She surprised me further by hugging me. I didn't want to be rude or callous by prying her off of me so I hugged her and awkwardly patted her back. I looked to Jasper, hoping he would help take his woman off of me. He smiled gratefully and walked up to extract the small thing of a vampire.

"Bella," Jasper said, finally breaking the silent tension in the air. "The blood. I've been trying really hard to ignore it, but I can't anymore. Let me have it."

Edward and Alice's face twisted in a painful expression. Did they want to share the blood, too? There was enough to go around.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Let me go get it for you." The thought of Jasper indulging with me made me extremely happy. The good ol' days. The bag with the blood and narcotics was thrown behind a couch and I merrily skipped the few steps to retrieve it.

I grabbed the bag and sat down on the couch, opening it up. I heard the hiss coming from all of them as the strong scent of the blood permeated the air. "Do you want it pure?" I asked Jasper. I was preoccupied with my deed and kept my head practically buried in the bag. It wasn't until I realized that Jasper hadn't answered, that I finally looked up.

His face looked pained, but longing. "Jazz?" I was trying to get his attention.

"Bella, we can't do that here." I looked at him confused until I thought it clicked.

"Shit! You're right. It's pretty rude." I was way too happy to partake with Jasper that I completely forgot my manners. Drinking human blood would have been like drinking a beer in front of a recovering alcoholic.

"I'm sorry, guys. We'll wait 'til you leave." I apologized for my thoughtlessness. I may not have been that fond of Alice, but I wasn't going to be cruel. I began gathering the little baggies and the remaining pints of blood, carefully stuffing them back in the bag.

"Wait, Bella," Jasper said, reaching out to still my hands. "I didn't mean that we should wait until they leave. I have to talk you about that, though." He seemed very hesitant, which only made me nervous.

Jasper had a familiar, trying look in his eyes. I knew that he could feel my anxiety and desperately wanted to fix it. However, I told him long ago to never manipulate how I was feeling unless I asked. At this moment, I could tell he was contemplating doing just that.

"I think we should give the animal blood thing another try," he continued.

"Come again?" I asked, not even trying to hold back my laugher from the absurdity of what he just said.

"If we're gonna do this," he said pointing between the four of us, "we have to do it right." I never verbally confirmed that I was going to try with Edward, but he already knew. There was no going back, but that didn't mean I had to like any of it.

"So _we_ have to change for _them_?" I asked for clarification.

"C'mon, Bella," he continued to coax. "Weren't we starting to feel guilty anyway? This mating thing changed the way you looked at humans. Admit it. All those happy couples?"

I refused to look at any of them. "This whole thing is absurd. What happened to compromise? Isn't being in a relationship about meeting each other half way? Drinking from animals isn't normal."

"Can you honestly tell me that not once, in your whole existence, you've never sorry for taking a human life? That every time you walked away from a kill you've never thought about family – children – that your victim left behind?" Edward asked.

I stared at the audacity of this vampire. The one who was supposed to be my mate. It was unfair of him to try and pluck out any guilt and remorse that I may have experienced in my lifetime as vampire. Of course there were moments when I regretted a kill. Only the cruelest vampire would deny feeling something after certain kills. I could think of a few, though.

"Don't…don't do that," I chided Edward quietly. "You couldn't possibly know how I feel about anything. More than half my existence has been centered on remorse. I don't need you or Jasper trying to convince me of a way of life by using my emotional instability against me." The growl ripped from my throat before I could suppress it.

Edward looked heartbroken. "Sweetheart, that's not what…"

"Save it," I interrupted. "I'll try your way. Not because you're my mate, but because this might be a way to start atoning for my actions that have hurt others." I turned my attention to Jasper. "I know what it's like to have everything ripped away."

The venom welled up in Jasper's eyes. I shook my head, forbidding him to let them fall. Not because I didn't want to see him cry – I didn't – but because I didn't want him to feel the pain that would immediately over take him.

"It's not so bad, Bella. You'll get used to it." Alice tried to gently reassure me, but her words meant nothing. However, I was grateful, though, at her attempt so I gave her small smile.

I was sick of the talk about new blood and past grievances.

"You said there was something else you needed to talk about?" I asked Jasper. I could feel the shift in the air, the tension coming from all sides. I was instantly put on edge.

"I…um…," Jasper was nervous and it made me nervous. "I'm staying with Alice tonight," he said. If he wanted Alice to spend the night he didn't have to ask me. However, he wasn't done. "At the Cullens'."

To the average human I felt ice cold. Right now, though? I felt white hot. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the three figures staring back at me. I took an unnecessarily deep breaths, trying to restore my calm.

"Bella?" It was Edward speaking.

"Jasper, I told you." I heard Alice's voice and it was enough to break the false sense of calm I was working on.

What had she told him? Did she see this coming?

"Get out," I whispered, still trying to remain collected when all I wanted to do was rage.

"Bella, look. I think-," Jasper began to speak before the sound of the crumbling sheet rock cut him off. The gaping hole in the wall left a spider web of cracks stretching toward the ceiling.

"I said get out," I roared. "You backstabbing, lying sack of shit. This _is_ Maria all over again. Just leave already; don't wasting my time. If I thought for one second that this is how we were going to end up, I would have let Alistair rip me apart." I walked to Jasper, airlessly breathing in his face. "I guess you wanted to do it yourself."

"Bella!" Edward let out a strangled sob. I tried looking to him, but it hurt too much.

"I need everyone to leave," I said with finality. There was no room for arguments.

"Are you leaving?" Jasper asked.

"I'm no longer your concern," I replied, making sure that he felt all the anger and betrayal I was feeling at the moment. He feel to his knees, clutching his chest.

"Go," I whispered. "You, too, Edward."

Alice picked Jasper up and headed toward the door. Edward was torn, but eventually did as I asked. As he passed me to get to the door, he gave my hand a discrete but tight squeeze. I wanted him to stay; he felt wrong to banish him, too, but I needed this time. I needed to make sure that I would be okay on my own _when_ that time came. It was, after all, inevitable.

I didn't go to school the next day, or the one after that, or the rest that followed. While Jasper went to school during the day, I spent mine going through old photographs of happier times between him and I. When that became too difficult I ran. I ran to Seattle, the Canadian border, multiple lines. I didn't even have it in me to hunt. I drank the pints of blood that I had in that bag, tossing the rest of the drugs in a river I passed.

Jasper only came knocking on out apartment door the day after our fall out. I didn't respond and he didn't try again. Part of me was hurt, but another part of me knew that the separation was a good thing; I was weaning myself from him. From everyone.

I returned to school the following Monday, but kept my distance from the five vampires. Jasper looked well, no signs of worry on his face. His clothes didn't look familiar, either.

Throughout the day, both Edward and Jasper tried to make conversation, but I ignored all attempts. Admittedly, it was harder to resist Edward than it was Jasper. I wasn't mad any longer, but the hurt still lingered, etched into my bones. I was still working things out in my head and I couldn't afford a distraction. I wasn't leaving town; maybe they already knew that. Yet, I still needed this alone time to think.

By lunch, Jasper and the rest of them got the point that talking was still not an option. I was left alone for the rest of the day. That was not to say that Edward and I hadn't shared glances any time we were in the same room.

School was finally over and the last thing I wanted to do was go home. I never felt so lonely; not even when Jasper left me the first time. It was too bad the animals were terrified of me. I would've bought a cat …or seven. Maybe I'd even invest in yarn and needles to make socks and scarves. I peeked over four vampires settled across the parking lot. Edward was missing. They all looked happy, content. My dead heart broke a little more.

I hopped in the car; luckily Jasper hadn't taken my baby with him. I headed to the beach, where Edward told me they were forbidden to step foot on. The fact that my future disappeared in that area was another great benefit.

Getting to the beach took no time at all. It was blissfully empty, not even the psycho dog was around. With so much else going on, that particular incident felt like so long ago. As much as I probably didn't belong here, based on what Edward told me, it was also like a safe haven.

I had been relaxing in the sand close to half an hour before I smelled the familiar wretched odor. I got up as quick as my vampire speed would allow. I scanned the whole beach, only seeing a tall figure walking my way. I sat back down, still confused to where the odor was coming from.

The man I saw a moment ago sat down next to me. "I can smell a leech from miles away," he said, not looking at me but at the crashing waves in front of us.

"What?" I sputtered, completely taken off guard by his comment. And what the hell did he mean by saying that he could smell me? Like I smelled bad or something.

"You don't recognize me, do you?" he asked, looking at me this time around.

"No. But I already know that I don't like you," I answered.

He laughed boisterously. "It's too bad because you're the first blood sucker that I may actually be able to tolerate. I'm "Big Dog" from the other day," he said while continuing to laugh and use air quotes for the name I'd given him.

Once he said it, I immediately recognized the dog that tried to kill me. His eyes were the same chocolate brown while his russet skinned matched the color his dog form had.

"That was you, you fucker? I coulda killed you, ya know," I exclaimed and punched him in the shoulder. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be.

He began laughing again while rubbing is shoulder. "Kill me? I don't think so. If you hadn't been such a pussy and ran, I would've ripped your head off."

"You feelin' froggy?" I asked, widening my arms and gesturing for him to bring it.

"Nah. You're awfully strong for a girl," he replied, still chuckling.

"Fuck you! I may be a girl, but I'm still a vampire and I could have killed you if I wanted to." Sticking my tongue out would have matched my petulance

"If you wanted to? So that means you don't, which means you do like me." He flashed a toothy grin. "Unfortunately for you, I don't date leeches. Maybe in the next lifetime. Oh wait, I'm sorry. This is your _only_ lifetime isn't it?" He laughed again at his own dumb joke.

Try as I might, I found it hard to hate this smelly boy sitting next to me. Our easy banter was something I hadn't been able to do with anyone in a while. I was trying to fight a grin.

"I see that smile," he teased. "Please don't fall in love with me," he continued, seriously this time.

It was my turn to laugh at him. "What are you even doing here? Aren't you supposed to kill vampires on sight or something?"

"Sam, the pack leader, spoke with Carlisle the night after you invaded my beach." I rolled my eyes. "Carlisle vouched for you and your friend. I originally came over to warn you, but truthfully, you had a really pathetic look on your face. I felt bad." He shrugged and I rolled my eyes again.

"Aww, what's wrong, Killer, did your best friend take her doll and go home?" He was joking, but he hit way too close to home. The look on my face must have alerted him to as much as he wiped he smile off his face.

We sat in silence and it surprised me, I found it nice to just sit with him, not talking. It was another ten minutes before he spoke.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Did I? Actually, yeah I did and it didn't matter that it was to a mutt.

"Do you know what vampire mating is?" I asked.

"Eh, more or less. It's kinda like when we imprint. You find "the one"."

"Yeah, I guess you can say that. Anyway, Jasper, my best friend, who I've been with for years, found his mate. Alice Cullen."

"I'm somewhat familiar with the Cullen's. So what? You and he were like romantic or something?"

My sexual history with Jasper was not relevant to the issue at hand. "No, but I've been with him since I was turned almost a hundred years ago. I just lost my best friend."

He was silent a moment, turning something over in his head. "It could be worse, ya know."

I looked at him incredulously and almost with disgust at his insensitivity.

"Just listen. Jeez!" He began telling me a story about Sam and how he imprinted on the cousin of his girlfriend at the time, Leah. He broke her heart without wanting to, but there was nothing he or anyone else could do. Leah still lived on the reservation and had to witness the happy couple frequently. She was dealing, though. Leah was dating another pack member and although she knew it wasn't love, it helped the moving on process.

"Wow, that's pretty fucked up," I agreed. I only felt the slightest bit better.

Leaving the depressing topic alone, Big Dog and I began talking about anything and everything. I hadn't even realized that the sun had set. I left after we had made plans to meet up tomorrow. We joked that if one of us didn't make it, it was because we were stuck throwing up from having to smell wet dog and sickly sweet honey topped cotton candy.

On the drive out of First Beach, I could have sworn I saw a flash of something in the woods. I knew it was one of the Cullen's, having figured out where I was. It was probably asking too much to have Jasper actually care about me anymore.

I was hoping that school would be uneventful. I was still upset by the things that were going on between me and…everyone, it seemed. And as horrible as it sounded coming from a blood sucker like me, I was actually a little excited to meet up with Big Dog after class.

**EPOV**

I followed Bella, hiding in the woods as she drove home from First Beach. I couldn't believe that she would actually go back there after her near death. I nearly had a stroke when Alice told me Bella disappeared all together. Alice had discovered a knack for seeing around Bella. However, when Bella's future wasn't mingled with someone else's we knew it could only mean one thing – some kind of werewolf involvement. I waited hours at the borderline, and it was well after the sun went down that I finally saw her drive off. There were so many times I was tempted to just cross over, but every time I was about to I received a call from Alice warning me not to.

School the next day was torture as she continued to keep her distance. It wasn't until Alice told me that she couldn't "see" Bella that I decided enough was enough. Jasper wanted to be the one to talk to her, but after Alice convinced him it wasn't a good idea he backed off. I waited until lunch to approach her.

"Hey," I greeted her and sat down without being invited to.

"Hey. What' going on?" She tried to sound unaffected, but I knew different. The crack in her voice sounded an awful lot like mine when I was talking about her.

"How've you been?" "…_because I've been horrible_" I thought to myself.

"I'm still in town, take that however you want." She shrugged and didn't offer anything else. I waited to see if she was going to mention Jacob, but she didn't so I had to.

"What's the deal with Jacob?" She looked at me questioningly, like she didn't think I knew about it.

"Who the hell is Jacob?" she asked. Could it be that she was actually approached by another one of the wolf pack?

"Jacob, the werewolf from the other day," I clarified. Recognition flashed in her eyes.

"Oh! You mean BD? I didn't even know that was his name. You'd think after all the time we spent talking I would ask his name or he'd tell me. I just kept calling him Big Dog and he never corrected me."

_All_ the time they spent talking?

"What do you mean all the time? You talk to him a lot?" My tone was abrupt and caught Bella off guard.

"We got to talking yesterday when I went to the beach. He was pretty good company, even if he smelled like a wet dog that rolled around in garbage." She wrinkled her nose and shuttered. For some reason, her actions highly pleased me.

"I could have kept you company," I muttered. She sighed heavily then surprised me by reaching for my hand.

"I know that everyone probably thinks I'm being some kind of heartless bitch, but please believe that it's not the case. I'm just trying to sort out and deal with my feelings." I could see her working her impressive vampire mind for the right words. "I feel like I'm losing Jasper, whether it's the case or not. I know that I have you, and trust me when I say that it's killing me to stay away, but I'm just not ready to enter into your family the way Jasper did."

"I'm trying to understand, Bella, but I really don't get it. Jasper isn't going anywhere just because he's with Alice now. Whenever we relocate, we go together, as a family and now that includes you and Jasper," I tried to reason with her.

"It's been just me and Jasper for so long, I don't know how to be anything other than Jasper's other half. I tried once and it almost got me killed. What if one day you wake up and decide that I'm not your mate and leave me like Jasper did? I'm going to have to leave and go back to being lonely. I don't want to be lonely again," she whispered the last part. And I think I was finally beginning to understand.

"Bella, you're scared. I don't know the motives behind Jasper's or Maria's actions, but I can tell you this - the mating bond we have is real. If, for whatever reason, you don't ever get to the point of wanting to join my family and decide to leave Forks, I'm going with you. It kills me ten times over that you're so close but so far away."

Bella removed her hand from mine and looked down at the table. Never ever in my life had I needed to be able to read someone's thoughts so badly.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered and my heart sunk. Was she going to apologize that she couldn't return the same feelings for me? Mating _was not_ one-sided. I knew she felt it, but was just fighting it so damn hard. If she was someone else's mate I would have been impressed with her tenacity.

"I don't want to hurt you, or even Jasper. But I'm going to let you down, a lot. I don't know how Jasper is doing it, but I'd rather drink from humans than animals. I'm so twisted that I actually take drugs sometimes. I'm not good enough for your family. I'd probably be the one to finally expose all of you. Why would you want someone like me to be the disease that destroys your family?"

"That's what we have Alice for," I began to say but was interrupted when Bella snorted after hearing Alice scoff across the room. "She'd be able to see if something like that were to happen. If it came down to us having to leave for fear of being exposed, then we'd just pack up and leave. All of us, except Esme and Carlisle, fucked up in one way or another. And like I said before, I go where you go."

"Okay," she finally said after tortuously long minute.

"Okay?" I asked, not really sure what she was okaying.

"Okay. Me and you."

And fuck me sideways if that one word didn't make me the happiest vampire in this world.

Not at all thinking before I acted, I sprang up, grabbed Bella in my arms and swung her around like they do in those movies. Her giggle was music to my ears. I stopped turning so I could grab her face and finally do what I've wanted to do since I first saw her. When my lips met hers, I didn't bother with going soft and slow to start. My kiss was eager from the very beginning, and thankfully hers was too. I could feel myself growing harder the longer we stayed connected, and I knew she could feel it too. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she liked what she felt and began moaning, making me harder and not being able to do anything about it.

It wasn't until I read Alice's mind that I had realized that we were drawing a crowd. It should have been obvious that everyone would stare since this was the first time people saw us together since the first week of school. Not to mention, we had the starting to many porno movies. They all wanted confirmation that we were or weren't together. I unlatched myself from Bella begrudgingly. She giggled when she saw the displeased look on my face.

Someone else's thoughts invaded my head.

"C'mon, sweet cheeks, someone wants to talk to you."


End file.
